I've been putting off dealing with my friends and deciding whether or not i can be apart of the group of friends anymore.
And its mostly because I want that group of friends, and because I like them. But the biggest thing that kept me around was wanting to be a part of a group of friends, and knowing that if i didn't stay with them, i might not have a group of friends.
But I know that it's ridiculous for me to hold myself back in this group. So, even if it means that i dont have a group of friends for a while.. whatever. Y'know what.. i can deal with that.. and I've been thinking..especially for this year , or at least semester- i have a list a mile long of things i need to accomplish, and keeping the social life to a minimum might be a good idea anyways...

ONE: I need to do a play-- a musical, and I'm probably gonna pursue that sometime next sesmter-- i know of at least two auditions-- 1 at CSUn for COmpany.. .another at valley College--for Pippin.. How much would I love to do Pippin? SOOO much. I'm listening to my CD of it right now...

TWO: Okay, othr things to be done this semester--singing lessons.. i was gonna probly go back to improv, but im gonna put singing lessons first.. i was also having free lessons over the summer with my friend who i will hopefully still be friends with, but i dont think i'll be close enough anymore that i'd want to have her give me singing lessons.. so i can get my parents to help me pay for that.

THREE: ME...its no one's fault but my own.. but when i got involved with my friends, i felt a bit pressured to not to put anything so high on my priority list -other than God.. and somehow, subconsciously, that translated into how i was taking care of my workout plan and eating habits.. not to mention what all the stress added to that... But i am re-taking hold of that.. and this time i am going all the way... having auditions next semester is plenty of drive to lead me through a productive sememster-- thats how i operated in high school, and it worked back then..so...

FOUR: SCHOOL... i have to submit a portfolio in March.. based on that, it will be decided if i make it into the "film production" option at CSUN.. and if i dont make it, basically, i dont get to study what i went to colege to study. which would suck royally.. i'd probly have to settle for screenwriting.. BUT since im tired of settling, I plan on wowing the portfolio judges and working on that portfolio throught this semester and the winter...

Sooo those four things are enough to keep me busy for a while.. also, im babysitting at least twice a week.. .so, school five days a week, babysitting twice... keeping my grades up, working on my portfolio, taking singing lessons and preparing to audition for stuff next semester, getting my body to where i want it to be...
wow.. thats a lotta stuff... i mean, it doesnt even sound like i have time for my "friends" anyways..

SO...yeah.. as much as i like them-- they arent a right fit... what can you do? okay, back to my novel.. OH YEah... duh, that should have been number 5-- i want to finish my novel-- and there is a novel contest i am looking into, it should start by the end of this month... so... yeah.. writing, which takes a lot of time..

and there is other stuff-- maybe getting back in touch with high school friends... the ones who are still in town.. i just found out my friend jenni just got engaged!!! im still in shock, she is a year younger than me-- and she was on Days of Our Lives last year as a recurring character--- i need to call her... anyways.. yeah... im going to work on my novel now..

and sometime this week, i need to have a little talk with one of my friends.. that is the big mystery that is left here-- how in the world am i gonna bring this thing up-- i dont know how to break up with people.. it's sooo not me--especially since i feel like i established myself as unassertive within the group somehow..and i think i let that into my life this past year, which i am dropping here and now.. and have already started to drop, but i know that when i talk to them, i might slip into that habit...

hmm im listening to Pippin's "Extraordinary" Coincidence.. i think not...

I'll give you the same advice I give everybody else in situations like this. Ultimately, you have to do what's best for yourself in the long term. The trick/ideal path though is to also minimize the 'damage' to others in the process.:)

hello you are talking to the queen of dropping people but i have done it all for the wrong reasons and then gotten them back. Dont drop them completely ... just keep them on the back burner you know emails the occasionall coffee date etc. never drop people 100% that is my advice but it does sound like you have a lot of things to keep your mind on... go out everyonce in a while with them for some coffee or lunch if you leave them w/out a trace you will begin to miss them and regret it even if they are not 100% what you are looking for ... they are still people that you have fun with right? think about that part and keep them around just not a main focus.

I'll pretty much second what PP said.:) That's more or less what I was trying to subtly say in my initial post in ths thread anyway.;)

I am wise beyond my years ... what can i say ... experience counts for something doesn't it?