I just got a message off my cell from this afternoon from my friend... I havent called her back-- actually i just got my message service hooked up two days ago-- and there were two other messages (one from that friend, one from another) I havent called either back... I'm confused. I dont know what to say to them... theres a LOT of things on my mind, and i cant explain most of them to these friends... some things may just be over the heads of anyone in my life right now, but if the friends i have were the friends i needed, they'd be able to understand most of it... maybe that means i cant be friends with them... (or at least call them my close friends...) i know im gonna have to confront them (and soon) but i need a day or a few...this time when i heard the message on my phone inviting me to either sleep over satgurday or come to a meeting thing on friday I didnt even have an urge to go... thats gotta mean something
this sucks-- it's a good thing i dropped all the tension i was holding about my photo class-because i need space for all this new stress... (on a happier note: I developed my film on Tueday and printed today... decent results i think... and at least now i know how to use most of the equipment and stuff...)
ughhh -- i need a nap-- i'll probly elaborate more on this later

you create too much drama for yourself :P



;)

ahhh this i know
I read too far into things
I take everything way too personally
I'm a chronic people pleaser-- and if something I do hurts someone else, it kills me...


but this situation is not me overreacting, because the stakes are high.. and as much as i know i overreact to anything life throws at me, i dont think you can overreact when you are at risk for losing things (and people)..or overreacting when you know that no matter what you choose, you are going to lose someone...

but its okay-- hopefully i'm done creating the drama... and am ready to see where it has taken me and what i need to do to make it the way i want it to be.. and for once, go with that... instead of what other people want me to do.


it really sucks to be me right now...

stop it ... calm down ... breath... your friends will deal with it hon... take care of you first ... if they are your friends they will be there when you are ready for them to be smile too