phillycon
09-08-2002, 02:43 AM
hey, yeah its been a while since my last post. but now ive got problems again.
that same girl that i was talkin about im my previous few posts, is who i am speaking of (not that anyone remembers, it was like 3 months ago). anywho, we've talked about dating a couple of times, like actually having title to it. that seems to kinda fall through, because her last two b/f's screwed her over and i do hate them for it, but now its as if shes afraid of commitment. i think i want title though so it seems as though i actually have her, to me. but the other thing, which ive gathered from friends is that she does not want to ruin our friendship. but this is where it gets confusing. i really care about her, i dont know what it is but its there, and i know she really cares about me, i can see it, and shes gone into wierd states that involve much crying when we've argued. anyway, the other day she kissed me. as i was leaving, i hugged her as i normally would, but then she looked at me, leaned up to deaden the height gap we have, and she kissed me. WTF? later on i was talking to a mutual friend whom she had spent the night with the night before, and she told me that recently she had started haveing urges to kiss me whenever we're together, which kinda shoked me, id never heard of that syndrome before, especially with me. really though, thats the only thing missing from a typical dating relationship other than titles. the way we are together, its amazing. she makes me so happy and im confused more than ever about the situation, maybe i just dont want to lose her, and that would make me feel more secure. who knows? but for the first time i found someone that makes me happy and im not after sexual content. its wild. not to mention that shes the only thing thats made me happy in a long time, its like there was always somthin missing that isint anymore.
WTF, im really friggin confused.
that same girl that i was talkin about im my previous few posts, is who i am speaking of (not that anyone remembers, it was like 3 months ago). anywho, we've talked about dating a couple of times, like actually having title to it. that seems to kinda fall through, because her last two b/f's screwed her over and i do hate them for it, but now its as if shes afraid of commitment. i think i want title though so it seems as though i actually have her, to me. but the other thing, which ive gathered from friends is that she does not want to ruin our friendship. but this is where it gets confusing. i really care about her, i dont know what it is but its there, and i know she really cares about me, i can see it, and shes gone into wierd states that involve much crying when we've argued. anyway, the other day she kissed me. as i was leaving, i hugged her as i normally would, but then she looked at me, leaned up to deaden the height gap we have, and she kissed me. WTF? later on i was talking to a mutual friend whom she had spent the night with the night before, and she told me that recently she had started haveing urges to kiss me whenever we're together, which kinda shoked me, id never heard of that syndrome before, especially with me. really though, thats the only thing missing from a typical dating relationship other than titles. the way we are together, its amazing. she makes me so happy and im confused more than ever about the situation, maybe i just dont want to lose her, and that would make me feel more secure. who knows? but for the first time i found someone that makes me happy and im not after sexual content. its wild. not to mention that shes the only thing thats made me happy in a long time, its like there was always somthin missing that isint anymore.
WTF, im really friggin confused.