BonnieBon
09-05-2002, 03:15 AM
this i really strange.. and i just thought of it tonight..
maybe it makes no sense, but i have a feelin I'm on to something here...
As I've been beating this whole situation with my friends to death in my head, I've come up with something...
I mean.. I love them.. and I like being with them... but there are just issues with a lot of things, including chemistry... I just am not sure I'm feelin it.. BUtttt.. I wanted this group so much- I mean.. in a way, maybe it is as simple as that. They fulfilled something I've wanted.. forever.. I mean, I've had this before, but with them, it seemed so constant.. Oh by the way, what I'm talking about is having a group of friends that isn't just "drama friends" or "people i sometimes hang out with" I wanted to truly have my group of best friends...I've always had my group of drama friends, well, almost always, but shows end and things change..I neer had a stable group of friends that I knew I'd be chillin with every single weekend.... y'know--- the little storybook romance of all friendships.. and i mean, I got sooo much from this group that i wanted... they like me,i like them....they don't do drugs or drink or sleep around.. and I know other groups of people dont.. but more groups do, and I have to say that it is really nice to go to a party and know I dont have to be the one who is declining the beer.. because there is no beer...
okay.. this is getting long , and it was supposed to be my one succinct post...
Anyways.. this whole thing is seeming suspiciously similar to what people who stay in an unhappy marriage or with a boyfriend/girlfriend they arent in love with, or somethin like that say.. which is SOooo creepy.. because, I've never really understood that at all...(especially because I havent fallen in love yet..sad but true) But now, i'm kinda seeing my situation the same way.. because I'm so in love with the convenience, and it's soooo much easier for me to just say, hey, I can be comfortable in this old shoe of a relationship, why go buy that crazy pair of heels that may not fit and may hurt me? (hows that for a metaphor? or simile? or neither? whatever...(
...so.. did any of this make sense? I'll read it again tomorrow when my senses return...I'm meeting my friend Michelle tomorrow at school... there is so much I need to say to her... will i say any of it? hmmm. knowing me.. prognosis bad.. but..I dunno.. i hope for once a conversation will go the way I plan it.
maybe it makes no sense, but i have a feelin I'm on to something here...
As I've been beating this whole situation with my friends to death in my head, I've come up with something...
I mean.. I love them.. and I like being with them... but there are just issues with a lot of things, including chemistry... I just am not sure I'm feelin it.. BUtttt.. I wanted this group so much- I mean.. in a way, maybe it is as simple as that. They fulfilled something I've wanted.. forever.. I mean, I've had this before, but with them, it seemed so constant.. Oh by the way, what I'm talking about is having a group of friends that isn't just "drama friends" or "people i sometimes hang out with" I wanted to truly have my group of best friends...I've always had my group of drama friends, well, almost always, but shows end and things change..I neer had a stable group of friends that I knew I'd be chillin with every single weekend.... y'know--- the little storybook romance of all friendships.. and i mean, I got sooo much from this group that i wanted... they like me,i like them....they don't do drugs or drink or sleep around.. and I know other groups of people dont.. but more groups do, and I have to say that it is really nice to go to a party and know I dont have to be the one who is declining the beer.. because there is no beer...
okay.. this is getting long , and it was supposed to be my one succinct post...
Anyways.. this whole thing is seeming suspiciously similar to what people who stay in an unhappy marriage or with a boyfriend/girlfriend they arent in love with, or somethin like that say.. which is SOooo creepy.. because, I've never really understood that at all...(especially because I havent fallen in love yet..sad but true) But now, i'm kinda seeing my situation the same way.. because I'm so in love with the convenience, and it's soooo much easier for me to just say, hey, I can be comfortable in this old shoe of a relationship, why go buy that crazy pair of heels that may not fit and may hurt me? (hows that for a metaphor? or simile? or neither? whatever...(
...so.. did any of this make sense? I'll read it again tomorrow when my senses return...I'm meeting my friend Michelle tomorrow at school... there is so much I need to say to her... will i say any of it? hmmm. knowing me.. prognosis bad.. but..I dunno.. i hope for once a conversation will go the way I plan it.