Why do wives/girlfriends get so pissed off about a man watching women dance naked? I've got a stag party to go to tonight, and there are going to be strippers. My wife knows this, and she is pretty pissed about it. Now, paying a woman money to dance naked in front of me is not really my thing. It gives me very little thrill. I explained that to my wife, but she doesn't care. Skipping the party is not an option because I am in this guy's wedding party. My wife has accepted this, but she's still not happy about the whole thing.

Personally, I would not care if she and the girls went to a male strip club. I'm pretty secure about myself, and I know she is coming home to me.

Can't help you...

Sounds irrational...

Originally posted by Lowtide
Sounds irrational...

Have you ever had a girlfriend? I venture to say most women feel the same way my wife does.

well if there is no thrill in it for you.. then she should really just relax.

then again, i think i'd give pat sh!t if he went to a strip club too.... but if it's for a bachelor party, she should just suck it up, it's tradition! ;)

Originally posted by turtle_o
but if it's for a bachelor party, she should just suck it up, it's tradition! ;)

That's her attitude, and that's why she is just accepting it.

My stag party did not have strippers. We had beer, BBQ, drunken volleyball, and music, all in my friend's back yard. It was awesome. :)

so you dont feel like you missed anything not doing it in the really traditional way?

(then again, if a wife was cool you should be able to see a stripper at other times, (within reason) so why does it have to be at the bachelor party...)

I've been to strip clubs. Like I said, paying a woman to shake her ass in my face and walk away just doesn't thrill me. I wanted to spend my stag party hanging out with friends and drinking beer. Playing volleyball drunk at midnight is a hell of a lot more fun than sitting in a smokey strip club throwing money away on lap dances. Nothing more fun than watching 40 and 50 year old men do keg stands. :D

Originally posted by Baboon


Have you ever had a girlfriend? I venture to say most women feel the same way my wife does.

Yes... but keep in mind that 2 weeks is a LONG TERM relationship and I don't tend to date 'nice girls'.

It really doesn't bother me if a boyfriend goes. When he starts going A LOT, or expecting me to sit at home and then pleasure him when he gets back...that's when I have a problem. I usually ask to tag along.

Heh...I actually took my next door neighbor to a strip club for her 18th birthday. I'm not into chicks, but she is..so we were up and the tip bar and I got her a lap dance. Wasn't a horrible time, but it was expensive and the music/lights hurt my head.

Originally posted by Baboon
Nothing more fun than watching 40 and 50 year old men do keg stands. :D

that would be damned hilarious.

Originally posted by jillianjiggs

Heh...I actually took my next door neighbor to a strip club for her 18th birthday. I'm not into chicks, but she is..so we were up and the tip bar and I got her a lap dance.

That's a trip!! I bought my friends bisexual GF a lap dance... the dancer turned out to be a girl she knew in high school that she had a crush on... turned out the stripper felt the same about her:eek:

Unfortunately there wasn't an exchange of numbers because her BF was there... but they talked and made out a little... I guess if you're another girl iz ok to touch...

Originally posted by Baboon
Why do wives/girlfriends get so pissed off about a man watching women dance naked? I've got a stag party to go to tonight, and there are going to be strippers. My wife knows this, and she is pretty pissed about it. Now, paying a woman money to dance naked in front of me is not really my thing. It gives me very little thrill. I explained that to my wife, but she doesn't care. Skipping the party is not an option because I am in this guy's wedding party. My wife has accepted this, but she's still not happy about the whole thing.
My wife would probably react the same way. Granted it is based in insecurity, but it is really not that uncommon for men or women to feel this way.

Myself, I would probably do something similar to what you did. I would explain that I was part of the wedding party and my presence was expected. She should trust you enough to know that you won't be "getting off" on a stripper.

Baboon, does she have bad self esteem or is she more traditional?

I personally don't have any beef with it. I got my husband a lap dance the last time we went to a strip club! I like girls though, and I like to look at them. So, I can see where a guy is coming from when they also like the same.

I was actually taken to a strip club by my friends for my bachlorette party... half nekked women on my last night of singlehood! :) I had a blast. Did you know chicks can't go to these things alone, they have to be escorted!? :)

Originally posted by buggy
Baboon, does she have bad self esteem or is she more traditional?

She doesn't have low self esteem (quite the contratry). She's just traditional, doesn't like "some filthy ho-bag" (as she calls it) waving her chest at me.

She's "letting" me go tonight, but she'd have a cow if I was the center of the stripper's attention tonight. She trusts me, but does not trust other women (she's seen me in all my single glory....before we "hooked up")

When is the party? Can I come along?

Originally posted by Swappy
When is the party? Can I come along?

Tonight. Mt Snow, Vermont.

That's another thing.....Vermont strippers?? Hope they have all their teeth and don't smell like cow dung! :eek:

Ew, untanned naked women!!!!

I'd prolly be pissed at the fact that I couldn't go along.:) but hell, she can seek her own fun while you're payin a chick to rub her boobs in your face or something. tell her to grab some of her female friends and find a chip n dales or something similar. there *has* to be something 'round them there parts of where you live

Originally posted by Miss Misery
there *has* to be something 'round them there parts of where you live

NYC is a short train ride away. :)

I've always dated girls that either don't care or want to go with me.... Hell, about a year ago I dated a girl that started stripping a week before I told her it wouldn't be working out. (3 months later she was in porn)

....but either she is insecure or just dont believe ya.I dont wanna seem like the "tough-guy" here but either way, she will get over it.

I used to hang out at a couple of nuddie bars here in Clevo for a while....We knew everyone there and some of the guys dated the girls etc...etc....so i would just go to hang out and drink a few and shoot the bull.

The girl i started dating afterward never could understand why on earth we went there........untill she came along one night. We had a cool time, it was nice that she realised FINALLY that we go there cause we can relax, there are no A-holes that you find in clubs trying to be cool and people keep to themselves.....

Ohhhhh.....and another reason your wife will be mad is cause you will be having a good time with your friends.....and women dont like when guys are happy.

i dont understand why she is all hyper bout it but hey at least she told you why she was hyper. Thats a good thing:D


Trying to find the bright spot,
Illianna

I had a lady who actually went to a club with me. I really dont like watching strippers but she wanted to know what it was like. After seeing what it was like she couldnt see what the big deal was about.

Originally posted by igofast
I've always dated girls that either don't care or want to go with me.... Hell, about a year ago I dated a girl that started stripping a week before I told her it wouldn't be working out. (3 months later she was in porn)
And her name and phone number was.........................
(just looking out for the single guys):D

Why not just marry a stripper?

Originally posted by Lowtide
Why not just marry a stripper?

Well, if shes hot and brings home the bacon, sounds good. But watch out for baggage. Some stippers have more baggage than an airport.

As for the girl reaction to strippers: Some women think its a semi-orgy or something. If you ever go to a womans strip club, they go nuts, because they think that how men do it.

I dont get the use for strippers... Why would I want to pay for a look? Our country is odd when it comes to sex. Odd and confused.

Surely they must know that men are not allowed to touch them?

Originally posted by Lowtide
Surely they must know that men are not allowed to touch them?

Huh? What kind of strip clubs have YOU been to? :)

What kind of strip clubs do they have in your country?

Originally posted by Lowtide
Surely they must know that men are not allowed to touch them?
:confused:
You're kidding right? If you have enough cash you can do almost anything.

I thought wives were strippers? You mean they aren't!!! Oh, the horror, the horror...

Dating strippers is a rough topic and pretty much almost deserves its own thread ( so sorry for the off topic. )

I am sure that there are ALOT of great women that do dance for a living, but almost EVERY SINGLE one I have met / dated / friends with is F-ed in the head some way.

Sorry, just callin' it like I have seen it.

Originally posted by Gator
Dating strippers is a rough topic and pretty much almost deserves its own thread ( so sorry for the off topic. )

I am sure that there are ALOT of great women that do dance for a living, but almost EVERY SINGLE one I have met / dated / friends with is F-ed in the head some way.

Sorry, just callin' it like I have seen it.


Ummm, yes, that's true

Some women think its a semi-orgy or something. If you ever go to a womans strip club, they go nuts, because they think that how men do it.
Have you ever watched one of those National Geographic specials where lions stalk prey? That is how men react at a strip club.

A buddy and I took my wife to a strip club and set her between us with a pile of cash. Most of the dancers were bi so they came over to hit on the wife. The ones who weren't bi came over for the cash. All in all, it was a damned good show. :D

She doesn't care if I go to a strip club because she's been to one and knows what to expect. Take your wife to one. Maybe she'll change her opinion. :confused:

Uh... just clarify ladies...

A lot of the women at these strip clubs are not very attractive. Many of them look like they've been picked up outta the gutter after a heroin overdose and thrown on stage in some sequiny underwear.

Here in Sactown, you are not allowed to touch-- however, many of these strippers will come up to you and proposition you for money... sometimes they don't get the hint and go away.

Having been a gal that has had to plan bachelor parties for friends, and having had experience in strip clubs (hence the boys turning to me to take them on the tour), I have to say that it's a matter of respect for a lot of women.

If your gal is okay with it, that's great. I've known strong relationships where both man and woman have gone to strip joints and had a good time, or where they each had the, "I don't care where you get your appetite as long as you come home to eat" mindset, and it's worked wonderfully for them.

If she's not, then why is it so wrong to respect that? For many, being in a committed relationship should mean that you don't have ANYONE else naked in front of you for any reason unless it is your partner. Why? Respect.

It wouldn't matter to my boyfriend if I were in a room alone with a naked man, or in a room full of horny women and dozens of naked men. I'd be in a room with a naked male who was NOT the person I'm committed to, and that would be wrong. I wouldn't do such a thing to him, nor would I have any desire anyway, male strippers are a joke. That sort of situation might be fine for some of you in your relationships, and if so, more power to you. Different relationships have different requirements to work, and there's nothing wrong with that. Other relationships are based on deeper or different levels of respect.

I'm with a man who has never set foot in a strip club and has no desire to. Should he be in a friend's wedding party, he won't go to the bachelor party if there's naked women involved. Actually, knowing him, even if there were no women involved, but there was copious amounts of alcohol involved, he wouldn't go either. It doesn't stem from any dictatorial decree of mine, it stems from the fact that he has never wanted to patronize women who show their wares for money, and that he'd never, ever want to disrespect me by being at a place with such women and the activities that go on there.

I would never do anything on that level that made him uncomfortable and expect him to just "deal with it." Something about that seems fundamentally wrong to me.

Karma, your post nearly made me cry :( Men are such disrespectful bastards.


**SIDE NOTE** Im having a not happy time right now with my partner, its about respect and stuff - hence my sweeping, general statements.

I agree with your assessment of respect karma, but where does compramise come in? In Baboon's case, she is "letting him go" as he puts it, but what about in other relationships. Not that a strip club is a huge deal, my husband sounds like your mate, he's not into going, he is not a drinker either. I just don't think everything can follow one neat rule. I know women that almost forbid their husbands to come out to the track or cruise in their cars. It's very annoying.

Well said, Karma. You expressed my thoughts exactly.

most strippers are dag nasty. i've been to a few with some butt ugly women, but i've seen some attractive women there, too. i was at one with a really attractive egyptian woman, who wanted my friend to get on stage and dance with her, but he wouldn't, and she wasn't interested in me cos i was shorter than she was. oh well.

i would suggest taking the wife to the strip club. if you're a normal guy, you go with your friends, and you see naked women and point and hoot and holler with your friends because it's fun and funny. i wouldn't really want to date a stripper because you've got to be crazy to work in that industry, but i went with my friend who's married, and it was harmless. he just made silly faces and put out the bills.

Well I went to the stag, and yes there were strippers. Three nasty, skanky strippers. To be honest with you, I was more concerned about the Red Sox game on the big screen TV. The strippers were accompanied by a dude that sort of MC's the whole thing. All he kept saying (in a nutshell) was "Give us more money! Give us more money!" It was VERY annoying. I would have been happier to just give my money to the groom, instead of wasting it on strippers. I spent about $10 putting dollar bills on the groom, just so the stippers would grope him. He seemed to enjoy it.

When all was said and done, my wife didn't care that there were strippers. She now wants me to take her to strip club because she wants to see what all the hubbub is about. How ironic, eh? :rolleyes:

The g/f would be pissed if I went, but I don't go anyway, what's the use of staring at the cover when you've got the book at home?

You sound like my husband, hillie. :p

**blink blink** rubs eyes** Hillie? I figured you'd done been kilt by some crook or sumpin. Good to see ya. I don't get the whole strip club thing. For what I spend in a strp club, I could go to a regular club and pick up a chic and actually get laid. Oh, and for the record, most of the strippers I've seen in the clubs here are pretty damn hot. Also for the record, you have to be insane to consider dating a stripper.

Myself, I'd only be annoyed that I couldn't go too. Because....

Originally posted by buggy
Did you know chicks can't go to these things alone, they have to be escorted!?

Yup. It's not like I can just go whenever I want to--I have to find some male to go with. Plus, I'd want a lapdance for myself. :)

But I dunno, I guess we're not a usual couple. We communicate with each other, we're secure, and we respect the other's boundaries.

Originally posted by jwreck
**blink blink** rubs eyes** Hillie? I figured you'd done been kilt by some crook or sumpin. Good to see ya.

LOL you too j, been workin steady nights all summer, watch the kids all day while the g/f is in school, then go to sleep. Not much "me" time, but it makes for much more and much more appreciated quality "us" time.

Originally posted by hillie16


LOL you too j, been workin steady nights all summer, watch the kids all day while the g/f is in school, then go to sleep. Not much "me" time, but it makes for much more and much more appreciated quality "us" time. Glad to see you doin well. :cool:

Originally posted by Baboon
Why do wives/girlfriends get so pissed off about a man watching women dance naked? I've got a stag party to go to tonight, and there are going to be strippers. My wife knows this, and she is pretty pissed about it. Now, paying a woman money to dance naked in front of me is not really my thing. It gives me very little thrill. I explained that to my wife, but she doesn't care. Skipping the party is not an option because I am in this guy's wedding party. My wife has accepted this, but she's still not happy about the whole thing.

Personally, I would not care if she and the girls went to a male strip club. I'm pretty secure about myself, and I know she is coming home to me.

Many of them, I would believe, get mad because of the availability of an easy woman at your fingertips. I know, it's stereotypical, but that's the way I used to see it. Especially in regards to a stag party because this will not take place in a club, it may be held at someone's house, behind closed doors. And, most women who have been through several relationships, know that most men are capable of giving in to urges regardless of whether or not they're in a relationship. To further that, if something does happen, men will stick up for each other and the secret will be kept, locked and hidden.

Also, some men carry the mentality that this is their last chance for a fling with someone other than the person they are marrying. To add to all of this, us women have heard a great many story of stag parties and what happens there. Not nice.

Now, personally, I don't care. I used to, but when you're in a relationship for several years I find that things that I used to become angry about aren't really bothering me anymore. I can understand the need to look at someone else, especially a lovely creature who takes care of herself. After all, they do say that variety is the spice of life right? Looking and appreciating isn't a bad thing, but there are boundaries. You cross those boundaries, and hell will break loose.

I think its unfair for anyone to assume your wife is insecure just because this upsets her. It annoys me that whenever a woman is not ok with strippers, etc they are labeled insecure and bitter. Some woman will never be comfortable with the idea of the person they love slobbering over some other naked woman. I think the jealousy it creates is perfectly natural - not something she should be embarrassed about. Not everyone has to be 'open-minded' and accepting just because most other people are. Its her right to be honest about what bothers her.

My fiance has gone to alot of bachelor parties these past few years. I used to get livid about it. I really hated the idea that someone else was turning him on. It wasnt just insecurity, it just felt like an invasion on our intimacy and I felt 'she' didnt deserve his attention - does that make sense? Ive gotten over it though, but I only 'let' him go for bachelor parties - there's no way he's spending 'our' money on some stripper. He can have all the porn he wants, but real life is different to me.

Inviting her to come along? I dont get that. I dont get straight women who like to look at other girls naked - if you like that - good for you. But the last thing in the world I want to see is some chick with her boobs hanging out trying to grind me for a few dollars - ick.

So in spite of all the open-minded advice youre getting, just dont make her feel insecure or like she's not with it just because she's not into strippers. Most women arent, they just pretend to be to turn their men on, or to not appear like prudes. There's nothing wrong with her not being 'cool' about it.

I think the kind of bachelor party that eliminates strippers and just is a good party is the best way to go - no tension for anyone and it takes the pressure off of everyone to want to up the stakes on the good time. Ive heard way too many horror stories of men who got one last screw or blow in from a stripper and then their fiances found out about it (or saw pictures - remember boys - you may be drunk, but you can bet your ass someone is sober enough to capture your special moments on film) Its not worth breaking someones heart, but these things happen and they happen to the men you 'trust' with all your heart just as easily as the ones you'd expect it from. (and women too of course)

Originally posted by karma
male strippers are a joke.


There's just something about a man dancing around in a thong that screams 'gay bar' at me.

Originally posted by Karen
Some woman will never be comfortable with the idea of the person they love slobbering over some other naked woman.

Its the use of the word "slobber" that helps me prove the point about insecurity.

I think the point was, and you display it very well, that its not so much the insecurity that someone might be jealous, its the insecurity that a loved one is more attracted to someone else that hurts.

It is not the thought of someone grinding on "your significant other"....its the thought that he/she likes it.

but why is that feeling a bad thing? why does it make her ‘insecure’ in the most negative sense? I think anyone worried about someone they love being tempted by the body of another person as threatening isnt insecure, they’re just in love. I hate that it has to mean that you should shrug it off and be indifferent to it.

Everyone has a different level of tolerance toward temptation. It doesnt have to mean they are this insecure, mean, angry sub-par woman who doesnt want her love to have any ‘fun’ It just means she loves him and isnt as accepting of opportunity as others.

I know that I’m very old-fashioned, but I don’t agree that we should all be ok with things that most of society finds acceptable. These are things that should be discussed and your need to participate in these activities should be weighed against how much they would hurt the person you love. Its reflective of both of you, not just the person uncomfortable with it - where they end up being the scapegoat - but your need to hurt them, just to fulfill this ritual.