My friend and I were discussing last night, about why ppl stay in relationships when they know they are wrong, unhealthy, etc.

His philosophy is that People would rather have ANY kind of companionship then none at all.

I tend to think ppl cut theirselves short because they get attached to ppl, and think they can do no better.

Sometimes I think the thought of walking away and being alone seems to much to bare so the person stays regardless.

well everyone knows i am the king of the phrase "chicks dig losers", i see countless attractive, nice, good girls that date guys (or i should say boys) that are a-holes..

i think this falls in two catergories

1. the girl thinking that if she isn't with him that she is not good enough for him

2. the girl finds a little good in him (which there maybe underneath layers of scum) and wants to show the whole world that he isn't as bad everyone makes him out to be..

of coarse the situation could be reversed.. the girl could be the scumbag, and i have a feeling i am not the only guy on here that has found myself in a relationships with such

My grandparents are still together due to their love of cigarrettes and the lottery... no... not your average trailer park folk... they have a two bedroom shack AND a trailer in the backyard:eek: :o !!

They also occassionally switch densures and take turns yelling at any unfortunate black kid that should wander on their side of the street (taking turns to turn on the sprinklers when the walk by).

A simple kinda life lemme tell ya... are those two made for eachother or what?!

In my experience, if someone feels insecure with themselves as JUST themselves, then they will indeed stay with the wrong person, just to be with someone. In those cases, it always seems they benefit when they eventually take the time to just be the person they are without that particular connection. I’ve known a lot of people that were that way, and that very flaw (being unhappy with themselves as an individual) is what prevented them from getting into that relationship with the right person. It wasn’t until they could be happy without that the good one came along. Maybe we have to learn that in order to recognize the right one when they come along.

Originally posted by TheFrog
In my experience, if someone feels insecure with themselves as JUST themselves, then they will indeed stay with the wrong person, just to be with someone. In those cases, it always seems they benefit when they eventually take the time to just be the person they are without that particular connection. I’ve known a lot of people that were that way, and that very flaw (being unhappy with themselves as an individual) is what prevented them from getting into that relationship with the right person. It wasn’t until they could be happy without that the good one came along. Maybe we have to learn that in order to recognize the right one when they come along.

::raises hand and smiles::

:):p

I think that ppl stay with the wrong kinda ppl cuz they dont know what the right kinda person is cuz they havent found them... cuz there can only be that one right person right...

Although not as bad as in the past, there is still pressure to have your family started by age 25.

Sometimes it's like musical chairs and the people with out the chair hook up... just the way it is.

(i dont think anyone mentioned when you are in something good, but wonder if there is still something better.)

what if the person is right,... but in the back of your head you wonder if there is someone just a bit mORE right for you.

i mean what if you are happy now, but wonder if maybe that forever person is someone else.
it can be damned hard to leave the good guy who makes ya happy on the chance of that other person who would make you ecstatic forever.

like... 92% is good, how hard is it to get rid of that even when something else could be the full 100%

Could be too that they are trying to give their partner the benefit of the doubt and its only after they realize that it isn't going to get any better, that they decide its time to move on. If the parner is the type that has a problem with honesty, etc, I would see no reason to stay in the relationship because there are others out there that won't do that. If its an issue of just not haing anything in common, or a compatibility thing I would still move on. Unfortunatly however, sometimes one of the pair doesn't see the problems as problems and continues to push the relationship. Personally, I'd rather walk away and be alone. The idea of spending the rest of my life with someone I don't even want to be in the same room with is depressing.

Alot of people are afraid to be alone.

And when someone is afraid to be alone, some people just think that the time spent ( which is good in some way ) out-weighs the bad....

They are afraid that of the " what if " questions that are centered around uncertainty (sp? )

What if i cant find another...?
What if they find another ..?
What if I spend new years alone..?
What happens if .....what do i do if....What if I dont....etc etc etc...

It sucks when you are in that state or train of thought....the only thing I know realize is that you eventually get over it.....and there is a hell of alot more fun out in the world than sitting around worrying about the significant other........" what are they going to think, what are they going to do, why did they say this, what did they do that for" ....etc.....etc....etc....

Damn, i guess some people jump on a coaster, some people need to get pushed onto the coaster and some people are content to sit and wonder what its like.....