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View Full Version : Husbands forget spats, wives never do


CYLLON
07-23-2002, 08:15 PM
http://www.washtimes.com/national/20020723-19177660.htm

ASSOCIATED PRESS
Husbands never remember marital spats. Wives never forget.
A new study of that ancient matrimonial given suggests a reason: Women's brains are wired both to feel and to recall emotions more keenly than the brains of men.
A team of psychologists tested groups of women and men for their ability to recall or recognize highly evocative photographs three weeks after first seeing them and found that the women's recollections were more accurate by 10 percent to 15 percentage points.
The study, appearing in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, also used magnetic resonance imaging, or MRIs, to make images of the subjects' brains as they were exposed to the pictures. It found that the women's neural responses to emotional scenes were much more active than the men's.
Turhan Canli, an assistant professor of psychology at State University of New York Stony Brook, says the study shows that a woman's brain is better organized to perceive and remember emotions.
"The wiring of emotional experience and the coding of that experience into memory is much more tightly integrated in women than in men," says Mr. Canli, the lead author of the study. "A larger percentage of the emotional stimuli used in the experiment were remembered by women than by men."
Other authors of the study are John E. Desmond, Zuo Zhao and John D.E. Gabrieli, all of Stanford University.
The findings are consistent with earlier research that found differences in the workings of the minds of women and men, says Diane F. Halpern, director of the Berger Institute for Work, Family, and Children and a professor of psychology at Claremont McKenna College in California.
Miss Halpern says the study "makes a strong link between cognitive behavior and a brain structure that gets activated" when exposed to emotional stimuli.
"It advances our understanding of the link between cognition and the underlying brain structures," she says. "But it doesn't mean that those are immutable, that they can't change with experience."
Miss Halpern says the study also supports earlier findings that women, in general, have a better autobiographical memory for anything, not just emotional events.
She says the study supports the folkloric idea that a wife has a truer memory for marital spats than does her husband. "One reason for that is that it has more meaning for women, and they process it a little more. But you can't say that we've found the brain basis for this, because our brains are constantly changing."
In the study, Mr. Canli and his colleagues individually tested the emotional memories of 12 women and 12 men using a set of pictures. Some of the pictures were ordinary, and others were designed to evoke strong emotions. Each of the subjects viewed the pictures and graded them on a three-point scale ranging from "not emotionally intense" to "extremely emotionally intense."
As the subjects looked at the pictures, images were taken of their brains using magnetic resonance imaging. This measures neural blood flow and can identify portions of the brain that are active.
Mr. Canli says women and men had distinctively different emotional responses to the same photos. For instance, the men would see a gun and call it neutral, but for women it would be "highly, highly negative" and evoke strong emotions.
=============================
So guys.WE NOW HAVE AN EXCUSE.


:werd:

QtrHrsmn
07-23-2002, 08:27 PM
Well, aside from the fact that the maximum effective range of an excuse is 0 f***ing meters, the article is right on the money... I can't remember what we argued about yesterday, but she constantly reminds me of dumb s*** I did 3 years ago... I think she's HAPPIER reminding me.... I wish she'd forget, though, some things I'd be better off forgetting.............

Redfield
07-23-2002, 09:06 PM
I've noticed that wives love to use verbal ammunition based on previous transgresions often, but oh! beware if the husband should use it. That would be "bringing up the past". :D

Nice article Cy, I'll have to show mari. :D

The Frog
07-23-2002, 09:18 PM
Originally posted by Redfield
I've noticed that wives love to use verbal ammunition based on previous transgresions often, but oh! beware if the husband should use it. That would be "bringing up the past". :D

Nice article Cy, I'll have to show mari. :D

If you do, Redfield, you'll forget the article next week, but she'll yell at you for using it against her until the boys are in college.


:p

Redfield
07-23-2002, 09:24 PM
LOL! Forget about what? (j/k) :D

turtle_o
07-24-2002, 01:14 AM
i used to bring up past fights when i was fighting.... because i was STILL fighting about the same thing.
When a particular reason for a fight gets totally resolved, i think i might be able to stop bringing it up. ;)

i have no conclusive evidence on this point, but i am putting my theory to the test, ...it's just been a while since i've been in a fight.

QtrHrsmn
07-24-2002, 05:44 AM
Originally posted by turtle_o

i have no conclusive evidence on this point, but i am putting my theory to the test, ...it's just been a while since i've been in a fight. I'll bet you still remember what it was about, though..........

ChaoticThoughts
07-24-2002, 06:15 AM
Poetic justice would be when a woman gets a boyfriend with a photographic memory.

turtle_o
07-24-2002, 10:48 AM
Originally posted by QtrHrsmn
I'll bet you still remember what it was about, though..........

well the ONE fight ya had in nearly a WHOLE year kinda DOES stick in one's memory.... but i must say, the details are hazy, i just remember it was a horrific fight.

(if you asked me these same kinds of questions two years ago though, i would've been SO detailed...)

RightWingZealot
07-24-2002, 10:53 AM
my wife and I are the same way.

When we fight I screm like there no tomorrow, but 5 minutes afterwards I've forgoten it and im back to being all huggy and kissy and crap.
and my wife is like "What the hell do you think your doing?!"

and I usually say something like "WHAAT?! still mad about that?!?! That was over five minutes ago!"


women. BAH! Such lovely tortures we men put ourselves thru.

Manu
07-24-2002, 11:22 AM
haha, RWZ-

Thats how it is with jody and I usually, though I usually end up digging myself a bigger hole first. ;-)

turtle_o
07-24-2002, 01:16 PM
Originally posted by RightWingZealot
When we fight I screm like there no tomorrow, but 5 minutes afterwards I've forgoten it and im back to being all huggy and kissy and crap.
and my wife is like "What the hell do you think your doing?!"

and I usually say something like "WHAAT?! still mad about that?!?! That was over five minutes ago!"


i do notice that when i get hurt in a fight, it's not easy for me to get over that, and i feel like i'm holding a grudge.
(i dont like that, that i'm a grudge holder)
-but i DO make a conscious effort not bring up every little fight when i'm fighting..... unless they are the exact same fight, just to prove my point that it IS the same fight. ;)

mrWr0ng
07-24-2002, 07:24 PM
i have a photographic memory.

girls i date HATE it. they can make some offhand remark, and i'll bring it up in conversation almost a year later, and they get all mad.

Allegra
07-24-2002, 07:42 PM
Cody and I only fight when he gets dillusional and crazy!!!
Otherwise, it's smooth sailing -- because I am never irrational.
:D

QtrHrsmn
07-24-2002, 08:11 PM
Originally posted by Allegra
Cody and I only fight when he gets dillusional and crazy!!!
Otherwise, it's smooth sailing -- because I am never irrational.
:D Shuhrightasif.... and monkeys might fly out of my butt...........LOL

Manu
07-25-2002, 11:30 AM
LOL.

Jody and I have talked about what we can do better when we fight. I've agreed to not 'go off' as much (when I just start talking on a tirade, she doesn't interupt me, and I end up sticking my foot very far into my mouth) and she's agreed to try to hold less of a grudge.

Since doing that, we've noticed that when we fight we come out of it (usually quickly) and we feel much improved, like better than before. It is nice that fights last an hour or two at most and that we feel even better coming out of them.

QtrHrsmn
07-25-2002, 12:14 PM
Manu, don't give up on fighting though... it's healthy for a relationship to argue a little (pick stupid subjects, nothing serious) and the sex is WAAAAAAAY better after.......LOL

Redfield
07-25-2002, 12:22 PM
Very true! Make-up sex is the best part. :D

Manu-
That's great to hear you guys take proactive steps, not to stop fighting, but to "argue in a more civilized manner".

Kudos.

turtle_o
07-25-2002, 12:25 PM
you cant NOT fight. besides that peace after a fight is just so awesome.
(i think i miss that, not that i'm gonna pick a fight just for it though) ;)

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