The Good Wife’s Guide

·Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite) is part of the warm welcome needed.

·Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed we he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a bunch of work-weary people.

·Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a little lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

·Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before he arrives.

·Gather up books, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

·Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

·Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all the noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quite as well.

·Be happy to see him.

·Greet him with a warm smile and show your sincerity in your desire to please him.

·Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

·Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

·Your goal: try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

·Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

·Don’t complain if he is late for dinner or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day

·Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

·Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

·Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

·A good wife always knows her place. Stay in it.

Dude, I've seen this before. I believe it is from the 1950's and originally was not meant to be a joke, but more of a "good wife's guide." I saw an original copy of this once. Priceless!!!! :p

For some reason I don't see this happening.

Originally posted by Whitey
The Good Wife’s Guide

·Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite) is part of the warm welcome needed.

·Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed we he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a bunch of work-weary people.

·Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a little lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

·Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before he arrives.

·Gather up books, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

·Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

·Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all the noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quite as well.

·Be happy to see him.

·Greet him with a warm smile and show your sincerity in your desire to please him.

·Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

·Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

·Your goal: try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

·Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

·Don’t complain if he is late for dinner or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day

·Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

·Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

·Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

·A good wife always knows her place. Stay in it.
Then, husband wakes up and realizes wife has gotten in the shower to get ready for her job OTHER THAN housewife, the baby is crying, the dog is holding a half mangled newspaper in his mouth, and he's a half hour late getting up, so if he had breakfast made, it's cold now.

That is hilarious on so many levels.

I find it astonishing that there are women out there who disagree with this. Up until now I've never met one. :eek:

The hilarious part is that it's actually real...I have seen the real version as well, and almost crapped my pants when I read it...:mad:

Whatever!

How about cooking for HER, cleaning up the house for HER, greating HER with a smile on YOUR face, ask HER how HER day was while SHE was at work to support YOUR lazy@ss. What's good for the goose is even better for the gander!:p

Originally posted by Deninla
Whatever!

How about cooking for HER, cleaning up the house for HER, greating HER with a smile on YOUR face, ask HER how HER day was while SHE was at work to support YOUR lazy@ss. What's good for the goose is even better for the gander!:p

In such a case, I would advise that you get your man a script to the mag shown below.
http://www.zianet.com/brettj/cover.jpg


Don't get uppity, get in the kicthen.

Not planning on being married long, are you Whitey?

Originally posted by QtrHrsmn
Not planning on being married long, are you Whitey?

While I sincerely appreciate your concern, my girl knows who wears the pants in my house. Before you become alarmed, she is college educated and bust her tail 50-60 hours a week. I love her to death. I think I'll keep her.

Don't let your liberal mindset cloud the great value of good old fashioned moral standards.

Originally posted by Whitey


While I sincerely appreciate your concern, my girl knows who wears the pants in my house. Before you become alarmed, she is college educated and bust her tail 50-60 hours a week. I love her to death. I think I'll keep her.

Don't let your liberal mindset cloud the great value of good old fashioned moral standards.

Let me guess, you have her permission to say so right?

Liberal? Me? LMAO! "Betta ax sumbody" LOL.... me a liberal... That's rich.... BTW, my wife stays at home and takes care of my home and children.... I do the work, and she does HER job... as long as I respect the difficulty of what SHE has to do, we get along fine....


You might not want to let her read this part... you remind me of it...

A newlywed couple go on their honeymoon, and on the first night, the husband tosses his pants to his new wife, and says: Put those on." To which she replied: " I can't, they're too big!" He replied: " Remember that! I wear the pants in this family!" She thought about that for a moment, then shucked off her panties and threw them at him, saying: "Put those on!" He replied: I can't get into those." She said: " And you never will if you don't change your attitude!"

Originally posted by QtrHrsmn
Liberal? Me? LMAO! "Betta ax sumbody" LOL.... me a liberal... That's rich.... BTW, my wife stays at home and takes care of my home and children.... I do the work, and she does HER job... as long as I respect the difficulty of what SHE has to do, we get along fine....


You might not want to let her read this part... you remind me of it...

A newlywed couple go on their honeymoon, and on the first night, the husband tosses his pants to his new wife, and says: Put those on." To which she replied: " I can't, they're too big!" He replied: " Remember that! I wear the pants in this family!" She thought about that for a moment, then shucked off her panties and threw them at him, saying: "Put those on!" He replied: I can't get into those." She said: " And you never will if you don't change your attitude!"

ROFLMAO :D :D

Originally posted by QtrHrsmn
You might not want to let her read this part... you remind me of it...

A newlywed couple go on their honeymoon, and on the first night, the husband tosses his pants to his new wife, and says: Put those on." To which she replied: " I can't, they're too big!" He replied: " Remember that! I wear the pants in this family!" She thought about that for a moment, then shucked off her panties and threw them at him, saying: "Put those on!" He replied: I can't get into those." She said: " And you never will if you don't change your attitude!"

I find your little analogy extremely offensive. Maybe your wife is a slut on the side. I don't know and I don't care.

You have no respect for real women.

You my friend are a true clown.

Originally posted by Deninla


ROFLMAO :D :D
Then we have denyall in the peanut gallery.

Get a life girl.

Originally posted by Deninla


Let me guess, you have her permission to say so right?

Yes mame. Or so she thinks.

Shouldn't you be baking a pie or something?

I read this on Michael Savage's website.

I think Whitey posted it to get everyone riled up.

Yeah, I saw the original too.... Back in the day when 'gay' meant 'happy'. The strange thing is meeting couples who still treat it as gospel.

Whitey: "I love her to death. I think I'll keep her." :D LOL

Ummm well... errrr... so gonna get jumped on for this one ... but i kinda agree with Whitey ... that is my plans for when I get married ... be the perfect housewife... i see nothing wrong with any of those requests and I like doing those things along with having ample time on the computer, but that is what time management is for ... and being a good wife is important weren't you guys raised that way too??

Everyone please calm down, stop talking down to women, stop calling eachothers wives sluts, stop making bad jokes, and stop taking everything extremely seriously. Otherwise this thread'll be locked, like so many before it (and if something doesn't change, like so many to come)