This is from something grimrebuke mentioned in another thread... seemed like it might be interesting enough for its own topic:

Why do you suppose it is that pagan men and women by and large are less threatened by other men/women?So is this true? Are pagan men and women in relationships less threatened by other men and women? I've seen that "Pagan Nonchalance" several times myself, but never really made a correlation. I'd be surprised if there's no truth to it, though.

So, if it turns out that pagan couples are less worried about their partners seeing attractive folks/being lusted for by others, why is that?

This is from something grimrebuke mentioned in another thread... seemed like it might be interesting enough for its own topic:

So is this true? Are pagan men and women in relationships less threatened by other men and women? I've seen that "Pagan Nonchalance" several times myself, but never really made a correlation. I'd be surprised if there's no truth to it, though.

So, if it turns out that pagan couples are less worried about their partners seeing attractive folks/being lusted for by others, why is that?

If so ( and there are no supporting links included here ), I would imagine it would be along the lines of the possible ability to "eliminate" opposite-gender competition, which would allow them this supposed "relaxed" attitude. Also, their bonds as Pagan might override any lasting attraction outside their own shared knowledge or beliefs.

Just for time saving purposes, I'll repeat what I put in the other thread.



You know, I don't think that's specifically pagan men or women are more or less threatened, but more like we recognize that it's in human nature to react to attractive humans. Look all you want. It's normal. We wouldn't dress nice and take care of ourselves if we didn't want to be noticed. But knowing where to draw the line comes into play with the words "Harm none" Looking isn't harmful to anyone. Acting on it is.

I've been pondering on this, and here's my theory:

I think that it may simply be that the Abrahamic religions tend to teach that sex is a thing to be shunned. And therefore sexuality and attraction become these things that are taboo and should be hidden. Whereas pagans don't generally endorse this concept. That would mean that at some core level, a Christian's (for example) sexual desires would always be a matter of some degree of deception. And if you spend your life keeping your own desires secret, you have to at some level assume everyone else does the same. Which would make you always wonder about your partner. And deception doesn't necessarily mean ill-intent, it could just be embarrassment or shame over being a sinner. Which could be really confusing.
On the other hand, Pagans on the whole don't require deception or shame as a general rule. Therefore there is less reason to hide things from your partner, less reason to suspect your partner, and it is far more likely that if your partner is hiding something, you should act on it.

Just a theory.

"Pagan" is also a huge--and frequently erroneously applied--umbrella term.

As a pagan who is fighting jealosy issues, I have to say, this theory is nothing more than - a theory.

I shall admit, I am less jealous than a Muslim husband. Stoning my boyfriend to death in a middle of a soccer stadium ain't my idea of revenge.

But our societies have such different norms, how can we even compare?

I believe in one thing: The better looking of the pagans might be less preoccupied with jealosy. We all know what we can bring to the table, the more you've got, the less you worry. Which is why the likes of Brad Pitt are not insecure. :)

And seriously, I see it everywhere. The taller, the more handsom/beautiful, the more sexually appealing the person, the less insecure they are about their partner. That's just "You think you can find better than me? (I know you won't)" type of statement.

"Pagan" is also a huge--and frequently erroneously applied--umbrella term.

There is that, unfortunately we don't have a good word for grouping those with similar and often complimentary beliefs who don't necessarily belong to a specific denomination. So we make due. If the Supreme Court can make a tomato a vegetable, I think we can accept the more common use of the term over the technically perfect definition in this case.

And seriously, I see it everywhere. The taller, the more handsom/beautiful, the more sexually appealing the person, the less insecure they are about their partner. That's just "You think you can find better than me? (I know you won't)" type of statement.Seems more true with men than women.

Lots of gorgeous women out there with major self-esteem issues... the gorgeous guys tend more towards major ego issues.

(all unscientifically proven anecdotal evidence, of course)

You know, I don't think that's specifically pagan men or women are more or less threatened, but more like we recognize that it's in human nature to react to attractive humans. Look all you want. It's normal. We wouldn't dress nice and take care of ourselves if we didn't want to be noticed. But knowing where to draw the line comes into play with the words "Harm none" Looking isn't harmful to anyone. Acting on it is.This makes a lot of sense. This may be an unfair generalization but I've never met a pagan (pardon the umbrella term) who didn't view sex as normal and human. Such a pragmatic view differs greatly from weird superstitions about virginity, purity, sin, etc... that often surround sex. I can see how such hangups might make sex and physical attraction into some all-powerful bogeyman.

Thanks for the responses!