For wanting a girl to express interest in me? All the girls I've ever pursued have never really expressed an interest in me or really cared. It's always seemed so one-sided. Like, I keep trying, but they're not receptive or even aware of the fact that I like them. It's like they wouldn't even entertain the idea.
I've had one girl express a slight interest in me once, but not truly. We met and she kissed me(I almost crapped myself. It had never happened before), but as I took her out a couple times she just didn't really seem INTO it, ya know? Just sort of lackadaisical.
I had a girlfriend for a year that I would do anything for, but she was very unappreciative and never really did anything for me.

I've pretty much just grown to accept the fact that most wimminz out there don't like guys (or at least me) and don't really want to take things seriously or do special things for their guy...

Is wanting to feel special selfish?:hmm:

For wanting a girl to express interest in me? All the girls I've ever pursued have never really expressed an interest in me or really cared. It's always seemed so one-sided. Like, I keep trying, but they're not receptive or even aware of the fact that I like them. It's like they wouldn't even entertain the idea.
I've had one girl express a slight interest in me once, but not truly. We met and she kissed me(I almost crapped myself. It had never happened before), but as I took her out a couple times she just didn't really seem INTO it, ya know? Just sort of lackadaisical.
I had a girlfriend for a year that I would do anything for, but she was very unappreciative and never really did anything for me.

I've pretty much just grown to accept the fact that most wimminz out there don't like guys (or at least me) and don't really want to take things seriously or do special things for their guy...

Is wanting to feel special selfish?:hmm:


It happens to me too, but i have a face only a mother could love.

happily women are strange creatures and many have some very odd tastes (thank God) my wife being one.

Failing that there is always rohypnal.

Hey Gibson,

Its not selfish.
But there are plenty of women who want to do special things for their guy.

Best to you!
M

No Gibby, I don't think you are selfish at all. I would only want someone who in genuinely interested in me too.

However, women are notorious for doing all that coy come hither crap, so as not to "look easy". They want to be pursued. It gives them a feeling of control and power.

However, women are notorious for doing all that coy come hither crap, so as not to "look easy". They want to be pursued. It gives them a feeling of control and power.

Unless they *don't* want to be pursued, in which case you'd be a stalker...

You are totally and absolutely NOT selfish. In a relationship, both partners deserve to feel "special".

For wanting a girl to express interest in me? All the girls I've ever pursued have never really expressed an interest in me or really cared. It's always seemed so one-sided. Like, I keep trying, but they're not receptive or even aware of the fact that I like them. It's like they wouldn't even entertain the idea.
I've had one girl express a slight interest in me once, but not truly. We met and she kissed me(I almost crapped myself. It had never happened before), but as I took her out a couple times she just didn't really seem INTO it, ya know? Just sort of lackadaisical.
I had a girlfriend for a year that I would do anything for, but she was very unappreciative and never really did anything for me.

I've pretty much just grown to accept the fact that most wimminz out there don't like guys (or at least me) and don't really want to take things seriously or do special things for their guy...

Is wanting to feel special selfish?:hmm:


I can relate, Matt. It's not selfish for wanting to share your love with someone.

Someday we'll both be blessed.

It happens to me too, but i have a face only a mother could love.

happily women are strange creatures and many have some very odd tastes (thank God) my wife being one.

Failing that there is always rohypnal.
You and me both brother... :hmm: Not resorting to roofies. I'm looking for love, not secks.

Hey Gibson,

Its not selfish.
But there are plenty of women who want to do special things for their guy.

Best to you!
M
Well, wherever they are, I don't see them :hmm: Heck, most of the women I know that are married or have steady boyfriends are always lavishing about what their guy did for them, but I never hear "I did * for my guy this weekend/last night/yesterday"
No Gibby, I don't think you are selfish at all. I would only want someone who in genuinely interested in me too.

However, women are notorious for doing all that coy come hither crap, so as not to "look easy". They want to be pursued. It gives them a feeling of control and power.
Yeah, I'm noticing that. It sucks though because you don't know if they're being serious or not. If you're not interested just say so and if you are, don't act like you're not in the slightest and keep that facade up indefinitely... :hmm:
Unless they *don't* want to be pursued, in which case you'd be a stalker...
See above. :hmm: It's not hard to flat-out say "no."
You are totally and absolutely NOT selfish. In a relationship, both partners deserve to feel "special".
Hear, hear. It just seems that that's few and far-between these days... I agree that they should be treated greatly(that's another subject all-together though, women can't make up their mind between being doted upon and being super-independent), but showing caring/love/affection and a little something special every now and again is nice too...
I can relate, Matt. It's not selfish for wanting to share your love with someone.

Someday we'll both be blessed.
I share my love with everyone I interact with, just nobody aside from my family seems to want to share theirs with me... :hmm:

Here's hopin' :beer:

Persue and persist.

It's all well and fine to live your life by a certain set of standards but to expect the rest of the world (specifically women) to play by your rules could be seen as selfish.

I do pursue and persist. It gets me nowhere. Not even a reflection of anything aside from general courteousness and friendliness. Nothing *special*

I do pursue and persist. It gets me nowhere. Not even a reflection of anything aside from general courteousness and friendliness. Nothing *special*

Not to step on your toes, but you said this in another thread:

I have never asked a girl out on a date. EVER. I don't plan to either.
I have been on a date or two, but I've never asked.


You try in the area that you shouldn't. I also think you try too hard sometimes. We have had several females that have joined our group of friends over the last couple years. You could tell they were just looking for a boyfriend. They would literally go flirting around the group until they eventually left or stayed just friends of the group. No one wanted the girl that tried to date everybody.

Don't be afraid (like I use to be) to ask a girl out. If I can have a face that only a mother could love and have a hot girlfriend then you can too. I think it's more about timing, but eventually you will get there.

Not to step on your toes, but you said this in another thread:




You try in the area that you shouldn't. I also think you try too hard sometimes. We have had several females that have joined our group of friends over the last couple years. You could tell they were just looking for a boyfriend. They would literally go flirting around the group until they eventually left or stayed just friends of the group. No one wanted the girl that tried to date everybody.

Don't be afraid (like I use to be) to ask a girl out. If I can have a face that only a mother could love and have a hot girlfriend then you can too. I think it's more about timing, but eventually you will get there.
Girls want to date every guy but the right guy :P

I do try too hard, then I burn myself out and get pissed :hmm: I do everything for the girl I'm eying and more. I listen, I give advice, I play, I care, I laugh. I don't like to put unwanted/needed pressure on the situation. I don't know why this instantaneously banishes me to the friend zone. I know girls aren't stupid, but eesh. :(

Girls want to date every guy but the right guy :P

I do try too hard, then I burn myself out and get pissed :hmm: I do everything for the girl I'm eying and more. I listen, I give advice, I play, I care, I laugh. I don't like to put unwanted/needed pressure on the situation. I don't know why this instantaneously banishes me to the friend zone. I know girls aren't stupid, but eesh. :(

Don't beat yourself up about it. Stupid girls want to date the wrong guy. They eventually learn and go after a nice guy. The nice guy has to have a little bit of edge on him, or she will get bored quick and return to aforementioned *******s.

I am sure you get tired of hearing everyone's advise on here, so I shall stop.

I think the answer is yes, Gibson, you are being selfish. You don't ask girls out, and you expect them to ask you out. That's a double standard right there.

I'm the nice guy with a bit of an edge :hmm:

*sigh*

I think the answer is yes, Gibson, you are being selfish. You don't ask girls out, and you expect them to ask you out. That's a double standard right there.
I don't expect them to ask me out... I don't expect either of us to do that... I just want things to develop naturally. I do a few nice things, she does something nice. I care, she cares. Even friends should do that... :hmm:

They never seem to genuinely care about you. My heart could break for one if them if something bad happens to them, but if something bad happens to me I get an "oh, that sucks. So anyway..."

If it's a girl you're interested in dating, you need to ask.
As a general rule, most girls aren't big on being expected to be the forward one.
And, if you've been talking for a little while, and you haven't asked, she's going to assume you're not interested, and likely hook up with somebody else.
It seems to me you keep ending up in the Friend Zone because you keep allowing it through your own (in)actions, and in fact it's possible, nay, probable, that you've let more than one opportunity pass you by because you simply didn't make the girl aware you'd be interested in dating.
The "I want to be really good friends and *then* become romantically interested" thing very rarely happens, and when it has happened I don't recall ever hearing stories where somebody *planned* it that way. If it happens with some girl you know, great.. but you can't just let life pass you by while you sit by and hope.

I think your significant other should be your best friend. Is that so bad?

I don't expect her to make the first move...

I like to plant rumors and letting it get to them by way of the grapevine. :|

We're getting off-topic kind of too...

gahdamnwomen!!!!!! :mad: :shakefist

I think your significant other should be your best friend. Is that so bad?

No, and she *should* be your best friend in the long-term.
But she doesn't have to *start* that way - that friendship can grow and develop while you date.

No, and she *should* be your best friend in the long-term.
But she doesn't have to *start* that way - that friendship can grow and develop while you date.
But why can't it work the other way? Why not be friends first and THEN decide to take a plunge? That way you still get a friendship out of it...

But why can't it work the other way? Why not be friends first and THEN decide to take a plunge? That way you still get a friendship out of it...

Nothing at all, as long as you aren't actually looking for more than friendship out of it, as chances are that unless something amazing happens, you're going to get filed into the FZ.
You obviously are looking for more, otherwise the subject wouldn't keep coming up.
So, I'd say at the very least, if it's a girl that you like enough to want to be "just friends" with even if she's not interested in dating, you should still ask, but if you get turned down, just say that's OK but you'd still like to be friends. Simple. If you were still interested in being friends you don't have have to give that up. If all you really cared about was a romantic relationship, you now know not to waste weeks/months or your time hoping that one thing turns into something else.

But I don't even want to *ask* unless I think there's potential.

But I don't even want to *ask* unless I think there's potential.

How do you know if you don't ask?

I did that for a long time as well, it eventually worked out for me, but it's the hard way of doing it.

See? It eventually worked for you! I don't mind waiting. It gets annoying sometimes, but I'm a pretty patient person.

I don't simply want to ask every pretty girl that comes along... I'd seem like the biggest perv in the world. I'd much rather know the person first before even considering dating them...

See? It eventually worked for you! I don't mind waiting. It gets annoying sometimes, but I'm a pretty patient person.

I don't simply want to ask every pretty girl that comes along... I'd seem like the biggest perv in the world. I'd much rather know the person first before even considering dating them...

Yeah, that was my reasoning, not wanting to be a perv and especially wanting to find a girl that didn't want a perv. That doesn't mean you can't try or like someone, just that it's more up to the girl to be ready for a guy like you then the other way around.

I know that it's more up to the girl and that's why I take it easy. I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable...

Girls want to date every guy but the right guy :P

I do try too hard, then I burn myself out and get pissed :hmm: I do everything for the girl I'm eying and more. I listen, I give advice, I play, I care, I laugh. I don't like to put unwanted/needed pressure on the situation. I don't know why this instantaneously banishes me to the friend zone. I know girls aren't stupid, but eesh. :(


It sounds like you're making one of the fatal mistakes when it comes to dating women; being TOO nice. Believe it or not, girls/women in general want to be dominated to a degree; to be "taken" if you will.

This is nature. I'm not talking about a total, possessive or jealous domination, but a guy that's too agreeable too often, and too nice isn't a challenge for most women, and she will get bored eventually, even if she's madly in love in the beginning (it's always good in the beginning).

It may do you some good to develop a "take it or leave it" attitude to a degree, even if it goes against your nature. I don't mean that you need to be mean or inconsiderate, because women also want to be loved; just like everyone else does. There's a fine line you may have to walk for a while, but it will pay off in the end.

Far more than a few girls like a bit of a challenge, so keep the next one her toes a bit. Don't send the signal that you "need" her or that you're "incomplete", because whether you're single or not,. you're still a complete human being, and most girls don't want a needy guy; just as most men don't want a woman that's too needy either.

Also, if you just put yourself in as many social situations as possible, there WILL be a next one sooner or later.

Just don't come off as desperate; or as someone who will settle for anyone. Don't EVER wear your heart on your sleeve either, no matter how badly you may have been hurt in the past, or even last week. You can get into that later; once you've established a strong relationship, and more often than not, you won't have to offer the information, because she'll ask you when she's ready to.

These things makes a difference; believe me. I lost a fantastic woman when I was in my mid to late 20's (much to my horror and chagrin). In hindsight, I realized that I had spoiled her way too much. I mean, I loved the girl and wanted to do for her, but after a few years, she got bored.


Have you ever wondered why so many women date real jerks who treat them like dirt?? Girls like a project, and a jerk can be a long term project.

If any of the ladies on this board disagree with me, please chime in.

BTW, you're not being selfish.

Gibson, if you spent half as much time and effort actually taking girls out as you spend coming up with excuses not to take girls out, you'd have a dozen girlfriends by now. Grow some cajones and ask a girl out.

It sounds like you're making one of the fatal mistakes when it comes to dating women; being TOO nice. Believe it or not, girls/women in general want to be dominated to a degree; to be "taken" if you will.
I keep being told this, but the girls I have as friends always complain about this... :hmm:

This is nature. I'm not talking about a total, possessive or jealous domination, but a guy that's too agreeable too often, and too nice isn't a challenge for most women, and she will get bored eventually, even if she's madly in love in the beginning (it's always good in the beginning).

No woman has ever been madly in love with me EVER. Most of the wimminz that I'd associated with were unappreciative ice queens.

It may do you some good to develop a "take it or leave it" attitude to a degree, even if it goes against your nature. I don't mean that you need to be mean or inconsiderate, because women also want to be loved; just like everyone else does. There's a fine line you may have to walk for a while, but it will pay off in the end.
My problem is that I'm a chameleon. I have been my whole life. I can adapt to any person, any situation, anywhere, anytime. People always ask me "why don't you just be yourself?" I say "I am!" I'm a natural friend and empath.

Far more than a few girls like a bit of a challenge, so keep the next one her toes a bit. Don't send the signal that you "need" her or that you're "incomplete", because whether you're single or not,. you're still a complete human being, and most girls don't want a needy guy; just as most men don't want a woman that's too needy either.

I am a whole person. I don't think someone should even THINK about dating others unless they're first a whole person. You can't be dependent on someone else to make you whole. You should compliment each other, not complete each other. This is a non-issue. I never act desperate either. At least not for love/attention :p I just don't want to be someone I'm not...

Also, if you just put yourself in as many social situations as possible, there WILL be a next one sooner or later.

Probably later, much later :p

Just don't come off as desperate; or as someone who will settle for anyone. Don't EVER wear your heart on your sleeve either, no matter how badly you may have been hurt in the past, or even last week. You can get into that later; once you've established a strong relationship, and more often than not, you won't have to offer the information, because she'll ask you when she's ready to.
See above^ What information?

These things makes a difference; believe me. I lost a fantastic woman when I was in my mid to late 20's (much to my horror and chagrin). In hindsight, I realized that I had spoiled her way too much. I mean, I loved the girl and wanted to do for her, but after a few years, she got bored.

I'm sorry about that :( Why didn't she just talk to you about it first rather than just up and leaving?

Have you ever wondered why so many women date real jerks who treat them like dirt?? Girls like a project, and a jerk can be a long term project.

No, I know. They fall in love with the person they form in their head that they think they COULD be, not what they are. I HATE HATE HATE that. Whatever happened to looking for the basics like all women claim to be(even though they're not)? Successful, sweet, funny, loving, etc? It's basics here.

BTW, you're not being selfish.
I sure hope not :hmm:

Gibson, if you spent half as much time and effort actually taking girls out as you spend coming up with excuses not to take girls out, you'd have a dozen girlfriends by now. Grow some cajones and ask a girl out.
I don't want to take girls out, that's why :hmm: I don't want to ask a girl out that I don't know either. It says that I'm superficial, which I'm not :P

Hey, look! More excuses. That's great. Those'll solve this problem real quick. It's okay to fail as long as you have a good excuse for it, right?

:rolleyes:

Hey, look! More excuses. That's great. Those'll solve this problem real quick.
No, not really.


It's okay to fail as long as you have a good excuse for it, right?

:rolleyes:
Yeah, I think so. An excuse is just that. It excuses you.

Well as long as you keep that mindset, you'll never be able to solve any of your problems effectively. Excuses are like *******s. Everyone has one and they all stink.

If you meet a girl, and you like her, and you offer to take her out to dinner, that's not being superficial. It's being honest.

I don't believe for a second that fear of appearing superificial is the real reason you don't ask girls out. And I don't believe for a second that you're happy the way you are. You may have convinced yourself these things are true, because believing them is easier than believing the truth: that you're just afraid of rejection.

Well, guess what? Everyone's afraid of rejection. I sure as hell am. I don't enjoy it any more than you do, and I've been through it just as many times. But there's something else I'm more afraid of, and that's living an uneventful lonely life that never goes anywhere. The prospect of that scares me a whole lote more than the prospect of getting rejected by yet another woman.

Well as long as you keep that mindset, you'll never be able to solve any of your problems effectively. Excuses are like *******s. Everyone has one and they all stink.

I've always thought there should be another term for bad excuses. Not doing a paper because you didn't have any mozart to listen to is a bad excuse. That is not the same as "He couldn't kick the ball because he had no feet." Which is a valid excuse.

If you meet a girl, and you like her, and you offer to take her out to dinner, that's not being superficial. It's being honest.
Therein is the rub. I don't KNOW that I like her at that point! :hmm:

I don't believe for a second that fear of appearing superificial is the real reason you don't ask girls out. And I don't believe for a second that you're happy the way you are. You may have convinced yourself these things are true, because believing them is easier than believing the truth: that you're just afraid of rejection.

Well, guess what? Everyone's afraid of rejection. I sure as hell am. I don't enjoy it any more than you do, and I've been through it just as many times.

My fear is a fear of being not liked. So that goes hand-in-hand with rejection AND seeming to be something I'm not. So both of those hold true.
But there's something else I'm more afraid of, and that's living an uneventful lonely life that never goes anywhere. The prospect of that scares me a whole lote more than the prospect of getting rejected by yet another woman.
You call it an uneventful, lonely life. I call it relaxation and happiness.

My fear is a fear of being not liked. So that goes hand-in-hand with rejection AND seeming to be something I'm not. So both of those hold true.

It doesn't matter if other people like you or not. My friends like me and that is all that matters. There are some really stupid people in this world that I wouldn't care less if they liked me. You have to act to know who these people are in the first place though.


You call it an uneventful, lonely life. I call it relaxation and happiness.

If it was that happy then you wouldn't be posting threads about how you should ask some girl out.

It doesn't matter if other people like you or not. My friends like me and that is all that matters. There are some really stupid people in this world that I wouldn't care less if they liked me. You have to act to know who these people are in the first place though.
I care. All we have to leave behind after we leave this world is the impact we make. I choose to leave a positive impact wherever I go.
I wise man once said "The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be."
I like to carry water.


If it was that happy then you wouldn't be posting threads about how you should ask some girl out.
It's happy, I just sore up every so often :hmm: I know I really shouldn't...

Gibson, I feel really sorry for you if your attitude in this thread reflects how you really deal with life.
If you risk nothing you will gain nothing, it's as simple as that.

I care. All we have to leave behind after we leave this world is the impact we make. I choose to leave a positive impact wherever I go.
I wise man once said "The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be."
I like to carry water.

See, comments like this is why you are single. (I don't like smilies, or I would use the tongue out one.)


It's happy, I just sore up every so often :hmm: I know I really shouldn't...

Yes, this happened to meet alot, when I was single. I am sure the old schoolers around here remember. The best advise I can honestly give you is to work on yourself. Go to the gym, look for a better job, or just find some new friends. Girls in our group would always go after the ones that were doing the best in life, because most of the time they were naturally the happiest.

How often do you go out?

See, comments like this is why you are single. (I don't like smilies, or I would use the tongue out one.)

Why? I care about people. I'm a natural empath, what's wrong with that?


Yes, this happened to meet alot, when I was single. I am sure the old schoolers around here remember. The best advise I can honestly give you is to work on yourself. Go to the gym, look for a better job, or just find some new friends. Girls in our group would always go after the ones that were doing the best in life, because most of the time they were naturally the happiest.

How often do you go out?
I go to the gym. I have an AWESOME job. I don't really want new friends, I'm pretty good with the ones that I have. I'm a homebody and just enjoy being. I don't have to be doing things to be happy. Granted, I have no social outlets aside from work, friends and online. I really don't want more than that...

Gibson, I feel really sorry for you if your attitude in this thread reflects how you really deal with life.
If you risk nothing you will gain nothing, it's as simple as that.
I don't really want to gain anything... :hmm: I guess that's good since I'm a low-risk individual :D

I don't really want to gain anything... :hmm: I guess that's good since I'm a low-risk individual :D

wouldn't you want to gain happines? You're obviously not very happy....

You're a shellfish.

wouldn't you want to gain happines? You're obviously not very happy....
I'm a very happy person by nature, but even happy people can get sad every now and again. I'll be over it soon :)

You're a shellfish.
I'm Dr. Zoidberg! Homeowner!
http://bp3.blogger.com/_-aYHLRiw3eY/RpoEusXB0yI/AAAAAAAAAB8/JpHPYUSiw_g/s200/zoidbergHomeOwner.jpg

Why? I care about people. I'm a natural empath, what's wrong with that?

You make self-destructive choices based on what you think other people will think of you.

I'm a very happy person by nature, but even happy people can get sad every now and again. I'll be over it soon :)

How do you know that you wouldn't be happy if you started asking girls out, if you have never done it?

You make self-destructive choices based on what you think other people will think of you.
Other people > Me
That's comes with the territory when you're an empath... :hmm: I'm self-sacrificing to the point of my own demise. Overall, I really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

How do you know that you wouldn't be happy if you started asking girls out, if you have never done it?
Because all I'd do is piss people off :hmm:

Other people > Me
That's comes with the territory when you're an empath... :hmm: I'm self-sacrificing to the point of my own demise. Overall, I really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

I will do anything for someone else up to a point. And beyond that point if they are a good friend or the one I love.


Because all I'd do is piss people off :hmm:

I have never pissed a girl off by asking her out. How do you conclude this?

Gib, you were complaining and basically sounding unhappy....and when we here pointed that out you've gotten defensive about it and now you're trying to tell us that we're all wrong and you're actually very happy. So what's the deal? Are you happy? Are you unhappy? Are you just possessed by severe mood swings?

Gib, you were complaining and basically sounding unhappy....and when we here pointed that out you've gotten defensive about it and now you're trying to tell us that we're all wrong and you're actually very happy. So what's the deal? Are you happy? Are you unhappy? Are you just possessed by severe mood swings?

I am sure he will come back saying that he is happy, he is just puzzled in the fact he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Truth of the matter is (without stepping on his toes even more) is that girls want guys who are truly happy even if they are single. The don't want someone that is only happy unless they are with someone. It's difficult to do, but once you mastered it, then attracting females is easy.

This thread is fascinating.

I will do anything for someone else up to a point. And beyond that point if they are a good friend or the one I love.




I have never pissed a girl off by asking her out. How do you conclude this?
You're bothering them. You're causing an inconvenience. Plus, chances are they plain don't want to. Ergo, you're annoying them/pissing them off.

Gib, you were complaining and basically sounding unhappy....and when we here pointed that out you've gotten defensive about it and now you're trying to tell us that we're all wrong and you're actually very happy. So what's the deal? Are you happy? Are you unhappy? Are you just possessed by severe mood swings?
I'm a happy person as a whole who is currently unhappy. Does that make sense? I'm normally very happy, but I go through dips every so often where I get sad because I'm "by myself." I normally get over it quickly though.
I am sure he will come back saying that he is happy, he is just puzzled in the fact he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Truth of the matter is (without stepping on his toes even more) is that girls want guys who are truly happy even if they are single. The don't want someone that is only happy unless they are with someone. It's difficult to do, but once you mastered it, then attracting females is easy.
That's sort of it. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a great guy! I should have girls clamoring... :hmm:
This thread is fascinating.

:werd:

You're bothering them. You're causing an inconvenience. Plus, chances are they plain don't want to. Ergo, you're annoying them/pissing them off.


I'm a happy person as a whole who is currently unhappy. Does that make sense? I'm normally very happy, but I go through dips every so often where I get sad because I'm "by myself." I normally get over it quickly though.

That's sort of it. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a great guy! I should have girls clamoring... :hmm:


:werd:

That was a very self-contradictory post. First you assume that no woman would ever want to go out with you, then you call yourself a great guy.

If you really honestly believe that no woman would or should ever want to go out with you, then you're wasting your time even thinking about whether or not you're taking the right approach to dating. If that were true, then it wouldn't matter what approach you take, would it?

Truth is that we all go through dips Gibby. It takes obtaining an attractive girlfriend for you to have the self confidence to attract an attractive girlfriend. It's a viscous cycle. I will warn you though, that it doesn't end there. Not to toot my own horn, but my gf is beautiful. Better than I ever thought I would do, and my problem is the same of yours. If I don't fix this soon, she eventually get tired of picking me up and telling me that she is with me because I (like you) am a great guy.

Be happy with yourself, realize you deserve an awesome girlfriend and that you won't find her unless you work for it. There was a certain art I used to attract my girlfriend, but that doesn't mean I didn't work my ass off for it (and still do).

That was a very self-contradictory post. First you assume that no woman would ever want to go out with you, then you call yourself a great guy.

If you really honestly believe that no woman would or should ever want to go out with you, then you're wasting your time even thinking about whether or not you're taking the right approach to dating. If that were true, then it wouldn't matter what approach you take, would it?
Truth is that we all go through dips Gibby. It takes obtaining an attractive girlfriend for you to have the self confidence to attract an attractive girlfriend. It's a viscous cycle. I will warn you though, that it doesn't end there. Not to toot my own horn, but my gf is beautiful. Better than I ever thought I would do, and my problem is the same of yours. If I don't fix this soon, she eventually get tired of picking me up and telling me that she is with me because I (like you) am a great guy.

Be happy with yourself, realize you deserve an awesome girlfriend and that you won't find her unless you work for it. There was a certain art I used to attract my girlfriend, but that doesn't mean I didn't work my ass off for it (and still do).
I AM a great guy. I just lack the confidence in others to see me the way that my friends, family and I see me.
I make great first-impressions. I'm a glowing individual. But, I'm not much to look at. There's nothing I can do about it either. My hair is falling out and I have a beer gut because of a medical condition. :hmm:
I try to make up for my physical downsides. That's why I try to make friends with them first so they know that I'm not just some ugly, fat, balding guy trying to score.

The whole purpose of dating is to get to know someone.

If you don't date then you don't get to bond with someone,if you don't get to bond with someone then you don't get this "realtionship" you crave.


What are you looking for in a woman?

Are you looking for someone who looks like a supermodel?

If you expect a woman to accept you no matter what imperfections you have then you should do the same for her too.

I AM a great guy.

If you ARE are great guy, then they should be happy you're asking them out. They should feel privileged.

When it comes to women, looks don't matter nearly as much as confidence. You could be the fattest ugliest baldest guy in town, and if you're confident, you'll still be able to attract women. (of course, being in good shape always helps)

But if you really, honestly believe that you're a good guy, then logically you should also believe that women should be glad you're asking them out, and any woman who doesn't see that isn't worth your time anyway.

On the other hand, if you really, honestly believe that you're worthless and no woman should want to date you, that's exactly how you'll come off. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The whole purpose of dating is to get to know someone.

If you don't date then you don't get to bond with someone,if you don't get to bond with someone then you don't get this "realtionship" you crave.


What are you looking for in a woman?

Are you looking for someone who looks like a supermodel?

If you expect a woman to accept you no matter what imperfections you have then you should do the same for her too.
Hell No. I like "normal" looking girls. Short, a little soft, brown hair, etc. That's purely looks talking though.

It's different when you're hideous :|

Hell No. I like "normal" looking girls. Short, a little soft, brown hair, etc. That's purely looks talking though.

It's different when you're hideous :|


What I'm saying is that if you are wanting to be accepted as you are then you have to do the same to her and that means if you want women to change their standards in regards to you,then you have to do the same to them.

Do you have a social worker involved in your case?

Do you have a psychologist?

What I'm saying is that if you are wanting to be accepted as you are then you have to do the same to her and that means if you want women to change their standards in regards to you,then you have to do the same to them.

Do you have a social worker involved in your case?

Do you have a psychologist?
What's weird is "who I am" is other people. I change myself for every situation. Everyone always tells me "why don't you just be yourself?" when I really am... It's not really about standards. My standards are somewhat low I'd suspect. At least looks-wise...

Social worker??? Why?

No. I find friends who actually know situations give better advice

Hey Gibson, this is your sex life:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/funny-pictures-bird-cat-cage.jpg

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd290/Reviwrath/Failboat.jpg

haha.. jk


It's not really about standards. My standards are somewhat low I'd suspect. At least looks-wise...

Really? I didn't want to ask, but I thout the girl in the "Hhhrmmm... ..." thread was smoking hot?

My dear gibby. You need a serious self esteem infusion. You're at least a quart low.

Women can smell that like a dog smells fear.

What's weird is "who I am" is other people.

What does that mean ? :scratch:



I change myself for every situation. Everyone always tells me "why don't you just be yourself?" when I really am...


We all show different sides of ourself to different people under different circumstances.


I doubt if any one person knows everything about me [and that includes my kin and my closest friends],I would think a biographer would have to talk to everyone who ever knew me in any way and then read all my DA posts to even come close to figuring me out.



It's not really about standards. My standards are somewhat low I'd suspect. At least looks-wise...

I'm just saying that you shouldn't expect more from a woman than you want her to expect from you.


Social worker??? Why?

No. I find friends who actually know situations give better advice


You seem to have some deep psycholgical need not only for a realtionship,but for that relationship to happen a certain way.

I don't think I'm the only one who has noticed that.

My dear gibby. You need a serious self esteem infusion. You're at least a quart low.

Women can smell that like a dog smells fear.
But I'm not really. I'm just over-analytical. I gush of self-confidence on EVERYTHING except my looks. I'm confident in my intelligence, sense of humor, taste and 100 other things

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd290/Reviwrath/Failboat.jpg

haha.. jk




Really? I didn't want to ask, but I thout the girl in the "Hhhrmmm... ..." thread was smoking hot?
Oh she most certainly is. She's way above the standard :p
Hey Gibson, this is your sex life:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/funny-pictures-bird-cat-cage.jpg
:werd:
What does that mean ? :scratch:
I'm a chameleon. The people around me make me who I am. I tailor myself to everyone I meet. People always tell me "dude, just be yourself." Being "myself" is being others.

We all show different sides of ourself to different people under different circumstances.
I agree...

I doubt if any one person knows everything about me [and that includes my kin and my closest friends],I would think a biographer would have to talk to everyone who ever knew me in any way and then read all my DA posts to even come close to figuring me out.
I'm complex in my simplicity. You could probably talk to 3 people and the essence of me...

I'm just saying that you shouldn't expect more from a woman than you want her to expect from you.
I don't. I just think it should be mutual. Just something you grow into, you know?

You seem to have some deep psycholgical need not only for a realtionship,but for that relationship to happen a certain way.

I don't think I'm the only one who has noticed that.
Not hardly. If I had a desperate need for a relationship I'd have been in one by now :hmm:

But I'm not really. I'm just over-analytical. I gush of self-confidence on EVERYTHING except my looks. I'm confident in my intelligence, sense of humor, taste and 100 other things

Then do something about it.

I have a couple friends of mine who are far from good looking who get hot girls all the time. Not saying you need a hot, just giving you a heads up girls don't really care that much about looks if everything else is in check (my current relationship included.)

Honestly, it's the yellow mustang. Sell it and girls will no longer think that you are gay. :p

I'm a chameleon. The people around me make me who I am. I tailor myself to everyone I meet. People always tell me "dude, just be yourself." Being "myself" is being others.


I can fit into various walks of life too,but I still keep my core self intact.


I'm complex in my simplicity.


I'm simple in my complexity,no wonder we don't agree on much.



Not hardly. If I had a desperate need for a relationship I'd have been in one by now :hmm:


Then why are you making an issue out of it?

It seems to me that if you were so nonchalant about this as you claim you are ,then you wouldn't be posting this.

Gibson, the problem is you don't know who you are. That's why you pretend to be whomever you happen to be around.

Then do something about it.

I have a couple friends of mine who are far from good looking who get hot girls all the time. Not saying you need a hot, just giving you a heads up girls don't really care that much about looks if everything else is in check (my current relationship included.)

Honestly, it's the yellow mustang. Sell it and girls will no longer think that you are gay. :p
I have everything else in check, that's what I don't get :|
Hey man, the mustang is the shit! It just makes people think I have a small penis. Which is true, so I might as well drive it :|

I can fit into various walks of life too,but I still keep my core self intact.

I'm simple in my complexity,no wonder we don't agree on much.

Then why are you making an issue out of it?

It seems to me that if you were so nonchalant about this as you claim you are ,then you wouldn't be posting this.
Ahh, see. I'm not complaining that I'm not in a relationship. I'm complaining about them (even friends) not even reciprocating good feelings and favors.

Gibson, the problem is you don't know who you are. That's why you pretend to be whomever you happen to be around.
That's the thing...I don't pretend. Truth is, I enjoy almost anything. I enjoy playing sports, playing games, reading, movies, camping, fishing, offroading, cars, cooking, theater, music, of all different types and THEN some! Having such a wide range of talents and interests I easily fit in with anyone. You know what they say though, good at everything/excel at nothing. The only thing I really EXCEL at is making acquaintances and doing computer stuff. I'm VERY good at most other things.
I really enjoy doing everything and being well-versed and well-traveled. It's really who I am... That's why I fit in well with anyone I'm around. It's a blessing and a curse, but it's who I am!

Gibson, do some penis enlargement and stretching exercises to overcome the circumcision damage and realize being selfish is the only way to deal with relationships since everyone is selfish. Take what yours, then take some more. Just like when you advance the timing in a 5.0, you back it off a degree once it backfires or knocks a little. Work the system.

I would think a biographer would have to talk to everyone who ever knew me in any way and then read all my DA posts to even come close to figuring me out.

I am a biographer. Please provide a list of individuals to interview so I can complete this project.

Gibson, I could help you in so many ways its not even funny, but you wouldn't accept anything I would say t o you because you would judge it harshly. Until you can get past that and realize that you really don't get it, you are doomed to wallow in self-pity and mental masturbation.

Just if you feel like broadening your horizons you should read two books. The Red Queen and Sperm Wars. Although I'm quite sure you will completely reject them.

Gibson, the problem is you don't know who you are. That's why you pretend to be whomever you happen to be around.


Bingo!

Gibson,

You say you want a relationship?

Ok,relationships are hard work on behalf of both the parties.

Think about that.

For wanting a girl to express interest in me? All the girls I've ever pursued have never really expressed an interest in me or really cared. It's always seemed so one-sided. Like, I keep trying, but they're not receptive or even aware of the fact that I like them. It's like they wouldn't even entertain the idea.
I've had one girl express a slight interest in me once, but not truly. We met and she kissed me(I almost crapped myself. It had never happened before), but as I took her out a couple times she just didn't really seem INTO it, ya know? Just sort of lackadaisical.
I had a girlfriend for a year that I would do anything for, but she was very unappreciative and never really did anything for me.

I've pretty much just grown to accept the fact that most wimminz out there don't like guys (or at least me) and don't really want to take things seriously or do special things for their guy...

Is wanting to feel special selfish?:hmm:



You want to feel special because you want to be loved... :)


I had a girlfriend for a year that I would do anything for, but she was very unappreciative and never really did anything for me.


Seem people are like that.. You've done everything but despite they have to do such things that you don't like. You don't even know if they really are serious with you or not.. Sad reality! :nonono:

Selfishness...


I don't know if i was that selfish. I did everything for my man to make him happy. Supporting him with all my heart and soul. I just don't know, sometimes i think i did not either did still my best... This is just how i feel anyway! :(

For wanting a girl to express interest in me? All the girls I've ever pursued have never really expressed an interest in me or really cared. It's always seemed so one-sided. Like, I keep trying, but they're not receptive or even aware of the fact that I like them. It's like they wouldn't even entertain the idea.
I've had one girl express a slight interest in me once, but not truly. We met and she kissed me(I almost crapped myself. It had never happened before), but as I took her out a couple times she just didn't really seem INTO it, ya know? Just sort of lackadaisical.
I had a girlfriend for a year that I would do anything for, but she was very unappreciative and never really did anything for me.

I've pretty much just grown to accept the fact that most wimminz out there don't like guys (or at least me) and don't really want to take things seriously or do special things for their guy...

Is wanting to feel special selfish?:hmm:

You need to communicate with them better .. something I am guilty of not doing too.