okay so basically my "Best friend" and my (NOW) Ex-Boyfriend hooked up behind my back. She screwed him TWICE, and once on a ferris wheel :P. Anyway...It's time to get that hoe back! If anyone has any ideas, or would be interested in hearing mine! :) Let me know...or share your stories if anyone has gone through similar misery!

Is it really worth it? Move on.

The best revenge is finding your own happiness again.

Fill her shampoo bottle with Nair.

get access to the everything forum, get naked pics of her, then post them :D

All great tips.

I would add that you might want to choose your friends and lovers more carefully. :)

I must say that what hurt me the most is when my ex found someone else. She was younger, thinner, and had bigger boobs. Not that that should matter, but somehow, it sent a message. It's like that famous song by Billy Holiday "I cried for you":

I cried for you,
Now it's your turn to cry over me,
Every road has a turning,
And that's one thing you're learning...

I cried for you,
Oh what a fool I used to be,
But I found two eyes just a little bit bluer,
I found a heart just a little bit truer...

You're going after HER? What about the jerk himself?

okay so basically my "Best friend" and my (NOW) Ex-Boyfriend hooked up behind my back. She screwed him TWICE, and once on a ferris wheel :P. Anyway...It's time to get that hoe back! If anyone has any ideas, or would be interested in hearing mine! :) Let me know...or share your stories if anyone has gone through similar misery!


take a dump on the hood of her car.

Ok, I forgot to mention, I had this happen to me once: best friend went after my boyfriend, behind my back. I nearly had a nervous brakedown. It's typical for me, to isolate myself, cry for days... Here's what I learned:

Choose your friends carefully, especially females.

The more conservative your friend's views, the better. Observe how they behave in social circles. If your friend is notorious for flirting and f*cking around, it could mean danger, not always, but it could affect your life - as seen in this case here.

In my situation, my best friend was a girl that loved to change partners and could never settle down. I knew everything about her sex life, and knowingly, naively, I thought it would never come to bite me, as I was a very good and faithful friend to her. Well, it only takes once for you to learn that friendships with women, if not chosen carefully, should at least be limited. You DO NOT bring your hot single girlfriend home to your boyfriend. These two don't mix together.

Naturally, it's a useless argument given the fact that a good boyfriend should be able to resist this type of temptation. However, the reality is the following: a hot girl spreads her legs to a guy - he WILL NEVER SAY NO. Yes it's a terrible thought and very hard to accept. It is however the way it works and the sooner you realize this - the better for you. Take preventive measures. Hang out with other couples in the future. When you hang out with singles - do it alone, do not include the boyfriend.

I understand this nightmare very well. It does teach you a lot about how defective people are. There's a lot more to be learned.... Good luck.

Find some random guy on the internet, fly to Houston and have crazy monkey sex till with me uh, I mean him until you can't walk right anymore. :cool:

Forget hot humid Houston for the revenge sex! If you provide pics that indicate you are sexually stimulating (a good face and body is important because I have ED) I will consider travelling to you to have the revenge sex. And since I enjoy public places for the sex you can post pics of the action on the internet for your ex to see! And everyone is happy!

are you all are very responsive! Time to read your posts individualy :)

Is it really worth it? Move on.

The best revenge is finding your own happiness again.

Yes. It's MOST definitely worth it.

Fill her shampoo bottle with Nair.

hahaha, if that would work...id so do it!

get access to the everything forum, get naked pics of her, then post them :D

hmmmmm i do have access to her laptop, think ill find anything?

All great tips.

I would add that you might want to choose your friends and lovers more carefully. :)

theres no such thing as choosing them carefully my friend. I use to have this boyfriend steve...greatest guy you would of ever met. He turned out to be a crack addict, and i didnt know till 2 years later? Anyway.. I dont think you can ever be completely sure.

You're going after HER? What about the jerk himself?

oh dont worry, his turn will come. i hate girls that only see the girls to blame when their mans are the ones doin teh dirty deed but in this case id known her since i was 13. and i went out with him for about a year. so im much more disappointed in her.

Sounds like you need to refine your "quality control." Dating guys who turn out to be crack addicts and who bang your best friend? Perhaps you should spend a little less time in the tanning salon and a little more time using some critical thinking skills.

ok, first let me say I love your avatar picture! And its totally the truth.

Im so sorry that happened to you, I know how it feels. my friends excuse was that she was drunk....and that is just not a justified excuse. nothing is.

Here's the thing though I've known her for about 8 years, and she is the most conservative person i know - politically anyway. and she's this rich bitch literally with a condo on lake shore drive downtown Chicago, and has dated 2 guys her whole life and thats all anyone knows about her. And for the most part thats true...so this sort of came out of no where and i didnt see it coming. she never gave any guy the time of a day and we always had an awesome time and then bam. no idea. she has always been kind of freaky so to say. but i didnt think shed get her freak on wth my man!

She was very good looking though.. I mean we went to the same school so it was inevitable for him to know her either way...I know this is sad but I like the idea of revenge. and it really would make me feel better - and Imstill 'best friends' with her ...not exactly but she still thinks so but atleast it makes it easier to get my revenge.

your story helped and thanks!
Ok, I forgot to mention, I had this happen to me once: best friend went after my boyfriend, behind my back. I nearly had a nervous brakedown. It's typical for me, to isolate myself, cry for days... Here's what I learned:

Choose your friends carefully, especially females.

The more conservative your friend's views, the better. Observe how they behave in social circles. If your friend is notorious for flirting and f*cking around, it could mean danger, not always, but it could affect your life - as seen in this case here.

In my situation, my best friend was a girl that loved to change partners and could never settle down. I knew everything about her sex life, and knowingly, naively, I thought it would never come to bite me, as I was a very good and faithful friend to her. Well, it only takes once for you to learn that friendships with women, if not chosen carefully, should at least be limited. You DO NOT bring your hot single girlfriend home to your boyfriend. These two don't mix together.

Naturally, it's a useless argument given the fact that a good boyfriend should be able to resist this type of temptation. However, the reality is the following: a hot girl spreads her legs to a guy - he WILL NEVER SAY NO. Yes it's a terrible thought and very hard to accept. It is however the way it works and the sooner you realize this - the better for you. Take preventive measures. Hang out with other couples in the future. When you hang out with singles - do it alone, do not include the boyfriend.

I understand this nightmare very well. It does teach you a lot about how defective people are. There's a lot more to be learned.... Good luck.

Sounds like you need to refine your "quality control." Dating guys who turn out to be crack addicts and who bang your best friend? Perhaps you should spend a little less time in the tanning salon and a little more time using some critical thinking skills.

Lol my quality control? first of all sweet heart, I don't go tanning..so before you make your useless conclusions..accuracy would be good. Secondly, if nobody knew that he was a crack addict until 2 years later...Obviously he was good at hiding it and his qualities didn't reflect his usage of drugs. thirdly...the cheating....no girl sees it coming or they wouldn't be with the douche bag would they? Exactly.

Lol my quality control? first of all sweet heart, I don't go tanning..so before you make your useless conclusions..accuracy would be good. Secondly, if nobody knew that he was a crack addict until 2 years later...Obviously he was good at hiding it and his qualities didn't reflect his usage of drugs. thirdly...the cheating....no girl sees it coming or they wouldn't be with the douche bag would they? Exactly.

:blahblah:

Obviously, of course you would've seen it coming if your span of awareness extended beyond what you're going to buy today at Louis Vuitton. I love it when girls say, "I just had no idea my man was gonna cheat on me!!!" The signs are always there, dear. Open your eyes.

And now you want to get revenge? On her? You're just a typical, petty, spoiled rich bitch. It's HIS fault, dumbass. You're going after the wrong person. But I'm sure you'll be getting back together with him anyway soon enough.

:blahblah:

Obviously, of course you would've seen it coming if your span of awareness extended beyond what you're going to buy today at Louis Vuitton. I love it when girls say, "I just had no idea my man was gonna cheat on me!!!" The signs are always there, dear. Open your eyes.

And now you want to get revenge? On her? You're just a typical, petty, spoiled rich bitch. It's HIS fault, dumbass. You're going after the wrong person. But I'm sure you'll be getting back together with him anyway soon enough.

Lol once again...beautiful conclusions. I've known that girl for 8 years..and she's been my best friend for that long and you think I'd care more about a guy that I dated for a year over what she did? Wrong. In either case..his turn will come too, you clearly don't know me. Don't go off calling me a typical petty spoiled rich bitch, when I've been on my own since I was 18..and one of 8 children.

and just shut the **** up with the open your eyes bullshit..I'm going to do what you love best and make an assumption and say that you're a male. and so you just assume that there are always signs..without taking account how many people get cheated on or have spouses that cheat on them for years till its figured out. You dont know anyone thats been cheated on? now its THEIR fault? for not knowing that their man cheated on them? Either you're retarded or you're purposely trying to get on my nerves.

Lol once again...beautiful conclusions. I've known that girl for 8 years..and she's been my best friend for that long and you think I'd care more about a guy that I dated for a year over what she did? Wrong. In either case..his turn will come too, you clearly don't know me. Don't go off calling me a typical petty spoiled rich bitch, when I've been on my own since I was 18..and one of 8 children.

Oh, and what are you going to "do" to him? Slash his tires? Sneak into his house and poke holes in his condoms? Burn his house down? Let's hear it, crazy girl. Just how psycho are you?

Have the brains to just say to them, "You can have each other" and just walk away. Walk away, instead of acting like an emotionally stunted adolescent. Getting "revenge"...

Grow the **** up.

Oh, and what are you going to "do" to him? Slash his tires? Sneak into his house and poke holes in his condoms? Burn his house down? Let's hear it, crazy girl. Just how psycho are you?

Have the brains to just say to them, "You can have each other" and just walk away. Walk away, instead of acting like an emotionally stunted adolescent. Getting "revenge"...

Grow the **** up.

Uh except that they aren't together? Do you ever actually read anything? or do you just like to spew useless shit. and I don't know what I'll do yet, but as soon as I do ill let you know. and don't tell me to grow the **** up, judging from your last posts in this thread...I wouldn't say you're much different.

Uh except that they aren't together? Do you ever actually read anything? or do you just like to spew useless shit. and I don't know what I'll do yet, but as soon as I do ill let you know. and don't tell me to grow the **** up, judging from your last posts in this thread...I wouldn't say you're much different.

Remember what I told you about critical thinking? Saying "You can have each other" is rhetorical. It means, to not bother with trying to seek revenge, and to let them be. Together for two nights or a year, it's irrelevant. Must everything be spelled out for you? Looking at your other posts I see that you support Romney and McCain, so yes, everything apparently must be spelled out for you.

I look forward to hearing about your plans for seeking revenge on him. Hopefully it will be something that lands you in jail.

I think we have an actual love connection. :nice:

:lol: :rofl:

Lol my quality control? first of all sweet heart, I don't go tanning..so before you make your useless conclusions..accuracy would be good. Secondly, if nobody knew that he was a crack addict until 2 years later...Obviously he was good at hiding it and his qualities didn't reflect his usage of drugs. thirdly...the cheating....no girl sees it coming or they wouldn't be with the douche bag would they? Exactly.

I'll venture a guess that you're the problem, not anyone else. Maybe he got tired of dealing with the whiny, controlling, angry, insecure, and selfish person that you've shown yourself to be in these posts. Maybe he simply got tired of you. Look in your own mirror...

Amen to that. :nice:

When I caught my boyfriend Guido doing my bff Stella in the weigh-in room at Jenny Craig, I brained him with a frozen entree. When he woke up from his coma two months later, we got engaged. In the meantime, I have to make do with his bi-monthly conjugal visits to the facility where I am currently doing time for attempted manslaughter with a half thawed tofu lasagne. Lately, I've noticed, though, that Guido seems less interested in lovemaking - refusing my advances with lame excuses that he's "tired" or has a headache. I also noticed he got a big 'S' tattoo that takes up almost his entire torso. When I asked him what the 'S' meant, he hemmed and hawed before telling me it stood for 'The Sizzler'. At first I thought that was real sweet 'coz we made love there on our first date, but then I remembered that it wasn't Guido I had made love to there, but the guy who worked the salad bar whose name I have since forgotten. Barry? Or maybe Larry. Anyway, to make a long story short, Guido has never been to the Sizzler since the nearest one is in the next county and Guido has never crossed county lines in his entire life. So now I'm wondering if Guido is still cheating on me with Stella. If any of you have information regarding Guido or Stella, I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly pass it on here.

:lol: :rofl:

Once again, Optimus is the sage wisdom on relationships.

Burn her Coach and Brighton bags. Better yet, send them to me! :nice:

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

If you really feel like it, wait for her next serious boyfriend to come along. Then - f*ck him in her bed, take a video or something, and put the CD in her DVD player so she'd play it by accident.

Then when she comes back screaming - you can say "we're even biaaaaaatch.":)

I personally would not do this, but it's amazing what my imagination is capable of producing. I actually believe in letting go - but that means cutting her out of your life. Harm's been done, and you gotta roll with the punches.

When I caught my boyfriend Guido doing my bff Stella in the weigh-in room at Jenny Craig, I brained him with a frozen entree. When he woke up from his coma two months later, we got engaged. In the meantime, I have to make do with his bi-monthly conjugal visits to the facility where I am currently doing time for attempted manslaughter with a half thawed tofu lasagne. Lately, I've noticed, though, that Guido seems less interested in lovemaking - refusing my advances with lame excuses that he's "tired" or has a headache. I also noticed he got a big 'S' tattoo that takes up almost his entire torso. When I asked him what the 'S' meant, he hemmed and hawed before telling me it stood for 'The Sizzler'. At first I thought that was real sweet 'coz we made love there on our first date, but then I remembered that it wasn't Guido I had made love to there, but the guy who worked the salad bar whose name I have since forgotten. Barry? Or maybe Larry. Anyway, to make a long story short, Guido has never been to the Sizzler since the nearest one is in the next county and Guido has never crossed county lines in his entire life. So now I'm wondering if Guido is still cheating on me with Stella. If any of you have information regarding Guido or Stella, I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly pass it on here.

Awesome! :nice:

I think all of sexual attraction boils down to wanting what you can't have and, therefore, there will always be attraction when someone you are around is taboo to you for any reason, especially if it's because they are supposed to be faithful to someone close to you.

The easier a person is to have sex with the less attraction we feel. The more they seem to specifically be ruling you out as a sex partner, or refusing to let obvious attraction come to fruition, the more attracted we're likely to be.

Whenever the injunction against having sex is coming from a third party like a parent, authority figure, or the partner of one of the two, then the urge to break the "law" so to speak becomes especially tempting because it includes the urge to burst out of someone's attempt to control you. That alone can get two people to hook up who might not otherwise be very attracted to each other.

The very best revenge here, if you can manage it, is to play that you're relieved, that you were getting very bored and sick of the boyfriend and are glad that he found someone else to save you the problem of breaking up with him. Likewise a show of sincere seeming thankfulness to the friend that she took the loser off your hands would be the best monkey wrench to throw into her works.

you clearly don't know me. Don't go off calling me a typical petty spoiled rich bitch, when I've been on my own since I was 18..and one of 8 children.

and just shut the **** up with the open your eyes bullshit..I'm going to do what you love best and make an assumption and say that you're a male. and so you just assume that there are always signs..without taking account how many people get cheated on or have spouses that cheat on them for years till its figured out. You dont know anyone thats been cheated on? now its THEIR fault? for not knowing that their man cheated on them? Either you're retarded or you're purposely trying to get on my nerves.

Lol my quality control? first of all sweet heart, I don't go tanning..so before you make your useless conclusions..accuracy would be good. Secondly, if nobody knew that he was a crack addict until 2 years later...Obviously he was good at hiding it and his qualities didn't reflect his usage of drugs. thirdly...the cheating....no girl sees it coming or they wouldn't be with the douche bag would they? Exactly.

theres no such thing as choosing them carefully my friend. I use to have this boyfriend steve...greatest guy you would of ever met. He turned out to be a crack addict, and i didnt know till 2 years later? Anyway.. I dont think you can ever be completely sure.

Sounds like you've already got it all figured out. I don't know why you came here for advice. You're just a poor little victim, and the whole world is out to get you, even though you never did anything wrong. Maybe someday I'll be perfect like you.

okay so basically my "Best friend" and my (NOW) Ex-Boyfriend hooked up behind my back. She screwed him TWICE, and once on a ferris wheel :P. Anyway...It's time to get that hoe back! If anyone has any ideas, or would be interested in hearing mine! :) Let me know...or share your stories if anyone has gone through similar misery!

Ummm... I'm not really good at these sorts of things... however, if it doesn't work out between them, I'm looking for a girl that will have sex on a ferris wheel..... so... if you guys start talking again... you know, tell her I said hi or whatever....

I think all of sexual attraction boils down to wanting what you can't have and, therefore, there will always be attraction when someone you are around is taboo to you for any reason, especially if it's because they are supposed to be faithful to someone close to you.

The easier a person is to have sex with the less attraction we feel. The more they seem to specifically be ruling you out as a sex partner, or refusing to let obvious attraction come to fruition, the more attracted we're likely to be.

Scooty - While it's true that humans want what they can't have, it's also equally true that humans want what they can have, probably more so. Let me explain. Can you imagine what it would be like if nature designed us so that we would only have sexual attraction to people we couldn't have? We wouldn't get any further than say, kissing, because as soon as we were even able to kiss them we wouldn't want them anymore. As soon as we know that the other person is attracted to us, we would loose interest. We'd never have any relationships, nothing would ever happen. We'd die off. Wouldn't be very efficient would it?

So we are attracted to people who want us as well. Most of the time if you like a particular person, and they desire you as well, you'll only want them more. That is nature's way of ensuring that we go all the way, nature has encoded us to mate with people who desire and like us.

Whenever the injunction against having sex is coming from a third party like a parent, authority figure, or the partner of one of the two, then the urge to break the "law" so to speak becomes especially tempting because it includes the urge to burst out of someone's attempt to control you. That alone can get two people to hook up who might not otherwise be very attracted to each other.This is true. But also keep in mind that as soon as a man is taken, other women want him. It's like nature's playing a practical joke on women. They've been built to desire a long term relationship with a man, yet as soon as they get that, all her friends and other women around will want him now. (This is a generalization, but we've all experienced this to some degree.)

Women want the security of a relationship, yet the reality is they are less secure in a relationship than without. At least from a competitive perspective from other women. Of course, this really puts men to the test for faithfulness.

Scooty - While it's true that humans want what they can't have, it's also equally true that humans want what they can have, probably more so. Let me explain. Can you imagine what it would be like if nature designed us so that we would only have sexual attraction to people we couldn't have? We wouldn't get any further than say, kissing, because as soon as we were even able to kiss them we wouldn't want them anymore. As soon as we know that the other person is attracted to us, we would loose interest. We'd never have any relationships, nothing would ever happen. We'd die off. Wouldn't be very efficient would it?

So we are attracted to people who want us as well. Most of the time if you like a particular person, and they desire you as well, you'll only want them more. That is nature's way of ensuring that we go all the way, nature has encoded us to mate with people who desire and like us.
This sounds logical and plausible, but in fact long term relationships are based on a balance of security and insecurity about the others interest in us, and visa versa. When you're completely sure the other one wants you you start to become complacent about them and think about other possible conquests. If they are paying attention they'll sense the withdrawal and do something to provoke you back into being interested, and that "something" will consist of becoming unavailable to you in some way shape or form.

If instead they become worried, needy, jealous, and demanding it will drive you away: they have become too easily available. You have lost all incentive for conquest. This is the case whichever sex we're talking about.

This is true. But also keep in mind that as soon as a man is taken, other women want him. It's like nature's playing a practical joke on women. They've been built to desire a long term relationship with a man, yet as soon as they get that, all her friends and other women around will want him now. (This is a generalization, but we've all experienced this to some degree.)
This is pretty much an argument for what I said in the first place: as soon as a guy is classified as "unavailable" due to being in a relationship, he becomes strangely more desirable. In general. I don't think this is limited to women wanting men that are taken, though. A woman who is classified in our minds as unavailable for any reason is more attractive for it.

Women want the security of a relationship, yet the reality is they are less secure in a relationship than without. At least from a competitive perspective from other women. Of course, this really puts men to the test for faithfulness.
Here, too, I don't see it all going one way, as you suggest. There are plenty of guys in relationships who are on constant watch against interlopers trying to snag their girl away.

Ummm... I'm not really good at these sorts of things... however, if it doesn't work out between them, I'm looking for a girl that will have sex on a ferris wheel..... so... if you guys start talking again... you know, tell her I said hi or whatever....lol. :nice:

take a dump on the hood of her car.

I was thinking the same thing :eek7: :tinfoil:

This sounds logical and plausible, but in fact long term relationships are based on a balance of security and insecurity about the others interest in us, and visa versa. When you're completely sure the other one wants you you start to become complacent about them and think about other possible conquests. If they are paying attention they'll sense the withdrawal and do something to provoke you back into being interested, and that "something" will consist of becoming unavailable to you in some way shape or form.

I agree. I personally think that's why marriage destroys relationships. It takes away the insecurity.

If instead they become worried, needy, jealous, and demanding it will drive you away: they have become too easily available. You have lost all incentive for conquest. This is the case whichever sex we're talking about.Worry doesn't necessarily drive a partner away. It shows you care about the other person. Same thing for jealousy. Of course in excess, it's draining. But a little bit is certainly fine if you give a shit about your partner. Being demanding and needy is another issue however.

But still, if we only wanted people we couldn't have, we'd be gone as soon as we hear the words "I love you." After all, that means we won, right? But it just doesn't work that way, for a very good reason.

This is pretty much an argument for what I said in the first place: as soon as a guy is classified as "unavailable" due to being in a relationship, he becomes strangely more desirable. In general. I don't think this is limited to women wanting men that are taken, though. A woman who is classified in our minds as unavailable for any reason is more attractive for it.It is especially powerful with women, not so much for men. A woman is never more attractive to me because she might be "taken." I don't give a shit if she's single or taken, if she's attractive she's attractive. Are you really more attracted to women if they're already involved in a relationship? That seems to be very rare for men.

Here, too, I don't see it all going one way, as you suggest. There are plenty of guys in relationships who are on constant watch against interlopers trying to snag their girl away.I was just trying to tie it in with the OP situation. Of course there's always going to be insecure, jealous guys constantly on the lookout for other dudes taking their girl. I was just pointing out what I think is a rather ironic thing in the men/women relationship dynamic.

if you're older than 16, choose to not be a child, forget about both of them and move on. Jesus.

if you're older than 16, choose to not be a child, forget about both of them and move on. Jesus.

Not everyone has the same level of emotional investment in their relationships or lack thereof as you're suggesting.

if you're suggesting that because I don't seek revenge against those who have wronged me, that I never had a deep emotional investment with them, you may be even more childish than some of the other people in this thread.

if you're suggesting that because I don't seek revenge against those who have wronged me, that I never had a deep emotional investment with them, you may be even more childish than some of the other people in this thread.

I was suggesting nothing that wasn't in your post. Since you didn't mention revenge in your post, I wasn't suggesting anything about it.

Ah, I see what you're saying. And I still rolled my eyes. I'm not the first person to use "forget about them" figuratively. In fact, it's quite common, and thusly I didn't realize I needed to explain that I didn't mean it literally. Sorry, I'll try not to use obvious colloquialisms in the future.

Worry doesn't necessarily drive a partner away. It shows you care about the other person. Same thing for jealousy. Of course in excess, it's draining. But a little bit is certainly fine if you give a shit about your partner. Being demanding and needy is another issue however.
I think worry only works if the other person is also worried. Then it creates mutual relief. If only one partner is worried, it will strike the other as a twinge of neediness.
But still, if we only wanted people we couldn't have, we'd be gone as soon as we hear the words "I love you." After all, that means we won, right? But it just doesn't work that way, for a very good reason.
Disinterest isn't instantaneous: there's always a period of some length of victory celebration where the person who attained what they couldn't have enjoys their conquest. The relationship will die soon, though if the conquored, which might be either sex, doesn't require reconquoring in subtle ways on a regular basis. In an obvious way this is what couple's teasing and quarrels are all about. In long term relationships the interplay of unavailability and reconquest can be so subtle a third party might not even realize what's going on. Some couples play it out obviously with irritating drama.


It is especially powerful with women, not so much for men. A woman is never more attractive to me because she might be "taken." I don't give a shit if she's single or taken, if she's attractive she's attractive. Are you really more attracted to women if they're already involved in a relationship? That seems to be very rare for men.
The point is that you'll be attracted to whomever gives off the strongest "unavailability" vibes. If a woman in a relationship strongly asserts how unavailable she is, you'll feel challenged and interested. Likewise if her partner
behaves protectively of her and aims it at you, you'll feel challenged. A lecture on the sanctity of marriage vows or even unmarried monogamy from a controlling type person is sure to leave you thinking consciously about breaking your own or prying someone else's apart. As soon as someone or something calls someone's unavailability to your attention it becomes a challenge.

I was just trying to tie it in with the OP situation. Of course there's always going to be insecure, jealous guys constantly on the lookout for other dudes taking their girl. I was just pointing out what I think is a rather ironic thing in the men/women relationship dynamic.
I don't think it's a male/female difference at all, but a "crowd" thing. Some people collect friends who will be more prone to hit on their SO than others. If you have a knack for surrounding yourself with guys who stay out of your relationships you will get the false impression all guys are like that. In some social groups it's a free for all: if you can take some guy's girl away, it's just his tough luck.

Maybe this is true. It would explain why I staid with a guy who repeatedly rejected me.

Of course, I just felt profound affection for him, but I can see how twisted and abnormal it appears - to love someone who says they don't love you. He would say: "it is not reciprocal..."

Yeah, right... It was reciprocal while I was the one giving it up. Now it's someone else, so it's not reciprocal anymore. :nonono:

I think worry only works if the other person is also worried. Then it creates mutual relief. If only one partner is worried, it will strike the other as a twinge of neediness.

I don't understand this. Why would both be worried?

Disinterest isn't instantaneous: there's always a period of some length of victory celebration where the person who attained what they couldn't have enjoys their conquest. The relationship will die soon, though if the conquored, which might be either sex, doesn't require reconquoring in subtle ways on a regular basis. In an obvious way this is what couple's teasing and quarrels are all about. In long term relationships the interplay of unavailability and reconquest can be so subtle a third party might not even realize what's going on. Some couples play it out obviously with irritating drama.

I agree and disagree.

The point is that you'll be attracted to whomever gives off the strongest "unavailability" vibes. If a woman in a relationship strongly asserts how unavailable she is, you'll feel challenged and interested. Likewise if her partner behaves protectively of her and aims it at you, you'll feel challenged. A lecture on the sanctity of marriage vows or even unmarried monogamy from a controlling type person is sure to leave you thinking consciously about breaking your own or prying someone else's apart. As soon as someone or something calls someone's unavailability to your attention it becomes a challenge.

Ok, so you're saying unavailability in general creates the strongest attraction. I have personally never found that to be the case universally. If a girl is uninterested in me, I loose interest. I don't want her "more."

The topic is pretty fascinating though.

Ah, I see what you're saying. And I still rolled my eyes. I'm not the first person to use "forget about them" figuratively. In fact, it's quite common, and thusly I didn't realize I needed to explain that I didn't mean it literally. Sorry, I'll try not to use obvious colloquialisms in the future.

I'm suggesting saying that anyone over 16 can just drop a relationship and the anger and insecurity that comes from an affair is unfair. And, since you've decided to draw me out into this, I'll follow up by suggesting that treating someone as if they are a child for having those feelings infers that either you don't ever invest yourself seriously in your emotional entanglements or you are hiding unresolved issues with past Loves behind a facade of bravado. Either way it is impolite to take it out on the OP. Please feel free to keep taking it out on me, though.

Revenge has no virtue. It accomplishes nothing.

Grim, I understand that people have a difficult time dropping emotions and anger after a situation like that. I understand it because (despite apparently coming off as someone that never has,) I've had that problem.

However, like Feenix just said above me, revenge has no virtue, it accomplishes nothing, and yes, it is ****ing childish. I didn't say being hurt is childish, I said (perhaps poorly) revenge is childish.

Grim, I understand that people have a difficult time dropping emotions and anger after a situation like that. I understand it because (despite apparently coming off as someone that never has,) I've had that problem.

However, like Feenix just said above me, revenge has no virtue, it accomplishes nothing, and yes, it is ****ing childish. I didn't say being hurt is childish, I said (perhaps poorly) revenge is childish.

OK, on that I agree and I apologize.

No worries, sorry for being a sarcastic smart ass.

No worries, sorry for being a sarcastic smart ass.

The world would suck without sarcastic smart-asses.

But enough about us, let's get back to this chick that does it on ferris wheels.....