ok, recently i moved away from one parent, back to where i was living, only to be kicked out after barely a month by my dad for some bs which seems to have mainly been a drunken fool looking for something to gripe at. Now im living at my best friend's house tryin to get my crap stright..... well i wind up being introduced to this 23 year old guy and things start up ya know, but im only 16 right now and total jailbait to him for another 2 months nearly!........ so between the fact its illegal (but isnt that just about anything that's fun though) and he is over 6 years older then me should i just tell him bye or keep on? Figure i would ask for some advice on this one......

As far as being 6 years older: No advice to give. That's your choice.

As far as the "jailbait" issue: For both of your sakes, wait a couple of months.

Wow, sorry to hear about all that :(. I'd say the bottom line is that for the sake of just 2 months, don't let the guy commit a fellony. Other than that, 6 years is a fairly big gap so maybe see how you feel in 2 months time. Sounds like you've got a lot of other **** to worry about without sex complicating things.

Dude's trouble.

The fact that you have doubts about it and are asking shows you've got a good head on your shoulders.

Use it, kick him to the curb.

Justin

nice to see you back Jel ... been wondering where you were hon. Missed ya!

But hon, ask yourself this one question... what is so wrong with him that he can not find a girl his own age. That is one question that I ask when I am going out with someone that much older than me... and normally there is some sort of a problem with the guy. But you are going to do what you are going to do ... I say he is not worth it, but it is your choice hon.

Well, once again, I have to say that the age difference is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, I was 17 and my husband was 24 when we got together. We've been together for nearly 25 years.

But you're in a different situation than I was. You are trying to get your life straightened out (hard enough to do at any age); I wasn't at the time. I was out on my own by choice.

However, if you have any doubts, I'd suggest backing off from this guy. One thing I've learned over the years is to "trust your gut." If it's telling you something's not quite right, it's most likely right. Every time I ignored my gut feeling, I got into trouble.

Originally posted by PissyPrincess
nice to see you back Jel ... been wondering where you were hon. Missed ya!

But hon, ask yourself this one question... what is so wrong with him that he can not find a girl his own age. That is one question that I ask when I am going out with someone that much older than me... and normally there is some sort of a problem with the guy. But you are going to do what you are going to do ... I say he is not worth it, but it is your choice hon.

Wise words. Proceed with extreme caution, Jel.

Better, concentrate on putting your life in to order instead of complicating it further.

I would definetly have to say follow your instincts..

Good Luck!

well you've already been thrown out, so you seem to be screwed up pretty good, nothing wrong with throwing another log on the fire.

well hon, if you think he is bad news, he prob is.

IMHO go find someone closer to your own age and enjoy your "childhood"(best way I could think to put it) while you can, don't bother jumping into an "adult" relationship.

*not badmouthing you hon, just putting it the best way I can type it out :D

Jel, sorry to hear the bad run of luck.

I am usually REALLY skeptical when there is such a large age difference, alrgely cause of what PissyPrincess said. That siad however, it does not mean anything is 'doomed' or that anything is in fact shady, but I think if the two of you can have a 'meaningful' realtionship it either speaks volumes about your emotional, physical, and mental maturity, or his lack thereof.

An example I use time and again...

I am 20, and Jody is 18. Thats not a big age difference at all and is 'socially acceptable.' But nonetheless it has been hard at times, largely because I am in college and she was in high school. We were in two completely different places in our life with different set of motivating factors, different set of short term goals and obstacles, and overall, just completely different places.

You need to ask yourself some questions like that...and then just evaluate it for what it is worth. What are you currently looking for? Fun? A relationship? Something meaningful? Someone to help you out of the rut? How ya answer that may answer whether or not to go with this guy...

That said though, be cautious and as someone else said, try to get yourself in better straights before taking on anything else.

anything over a 3 year age separation is still prosecutable as a statutory offence until you're 18.


The end. Thanks for playin.

Originally posted by DotCom
anything over a 3 year age separation is still prosecutable as a statutory offence until you're 18.
The end. Thanks for playin.

I believe it depends on the state you're in. Some states have an 'age of consent' and at that age, though still a minor, someone can consent to sex.

hey jel, nice to see you back

well first sorry for all the bad stuff that happen in your life.. but just remember, you are young (i know your tired of hearing that, but it's true).. i am going to agree with some of the others on here and say "dude's trouble", and talking with you before, you seem to have a good idea of what you don't want to be.. i would advise not persueing anything with a 23 year old.. take it from me.. a 22-year old man (some might disagree and say boy), but if the dude really wants you.. he can wait.. i did, but that's a different thread etirely..

your a teenager, all teenagers fight with your parents, please try to put up with them, and see where they are coming from.. you don't see it now but it's what is best for you.. they actually want what is best for you.. (or atleast they should)

Jel, it's time to come home. We love you. Call.

*Rubs eyes* Dave is that really you?!

Jel, Id go with the majority (plus you know, scared of Dave and all....), you are 16...theres plenty of time to date people and if you have doubts of any kind about dating this dude, its probably a sign you shouldnt.

And the mature side of her peaks out from behind the wild child image she tries to cultivate.:)

Doing me proud there, Rayne.;)

Jel, I'd have to agree with the vast majority here as well. The age thing is a bit problematic as is, but with you having doubts and all... Trust your instincts there, head on home & work on getting things perfect there.;)

Originally posted by D Durden
We love you



you get kicked out by a drunk, and you got loving parent's waiting for you in Tn.... think it is time to leave the Big Nasty and go back to where you are loved :)

Originally posted by Jel
ok, recently i moved away from one parent, back to where i was living, only to be kicked out after barely a month by my dad for some bs which seems to have mainly been a drunken fool looking for something to gripe at. Now im living at my best friend's house tryin to get my crap stright..... well i wind up being introduced to this 23 year old guy and things start up ya know, but im only 16 right now and total jailbait to him for another 2 months nearly!........ so between the fact its illegal (but isnt that just about anything that's fun though) and he is over 6 years older then me should i just tell him bye or keep on? Figure i would ask for some advice on this one......
If a 23 year old man is trying to ask you out, he is a pervert. All he wants is sex. Don't do it.

You don't know that Banky. All I dated were older men when I was her age and believe it or not they don't just all want sex nor are they perverts. So quick to paint a label.

ok the dude isnt a pervert, he's quite nice, he liked me before i ever told him how old i was. i actually have no problem with it, but he does, and he is the one wanting to calm everything down. which i came on to see others opinions and there are alot of good points so thankyou all for responding its given me some food for thought :)

No matter what you do remember that it was your decision made and you made the decision that you thought was best for you at the time. And it really is nice to see you back ... try not to be such a stranger.

I'd suggest you try to patch things up with your mum. Even if it doesn't involve going back to live at her place. If your dad's an alcoholic it's probably going to be harder with him, so start with your mum. There will be times in the coming years when a friendly parent will be a very important asset. I don't really know your situation so forgive me if this is completely off-target, I just say so cos I've seen a couple of mid-teen girls end up on the street because they were completely alienated from their parents and ran out of places to stay. Regarding the age thing... Me and my ex-gf knew each other since we were 16, and we're both 20 this year (in fact, I'm only 4 months older). She's fairly short and lightweight, which is a mixed blessing: she can still buy clothes from the kids section, which can be a lot cheaper, and I could carry her piggyback-style her for a quarter of an hour without feeling tired. The downside is she looks a lot younger than she actually is, like sometimes maybe about 15 depending on how she does her hair. My friends all know her, so that's fine. But when we were outdoors and acting like a couple, strangers would give us odd looks all the time. Every few days we'd be walking on the main road, and passing adult male motorists would honk and yell obscenities at us. We got used to it, but she always felt self-conscious in public. I suppose people can treat you differently even if it only looks like there's a bit of an age gap.

Originally posted by Jel
i actually have no problem with it, but he does, and he is the one wanting to calm everything down. Well DUH!!! HE'S the one with his ass in a sling if things go bad.

stranger????.......... me???? but of course.......... oh, by the way, hello :)

things with my mom are fine, i didn't leave on a bad note she knows that, i know she and dave will always be there for me when i need them.

i'm still in process of attempting to work things out with my father for the fact of i'm determined not to just lose my dad, ive already "lost" my brother and it eats at me every day.

i'd rather try and fail, then just give up utterly or not even attempt ...... life without taking chances isnt living to me. if im going to be alive im not gonna hold back on what i want to do, im going to LIVE.

i have no regrets, if things dont go my way i'll deal with it and move on. im not dropping out of school and running away, im tryin to make myself some-what content with my life.

and yea as of all of the points everyone has made i think that atleast for the case of this guy ill stop and make it wait a month n half and see what's up then.............. i dont want to marry the guy or anything crazy like that, im young, i want to have some fun, and i want to date around, it's part of life and i intend to fully enjoy it while i can, or until i've tired of it........

Originally posted by Jel
ok, recently i moved away from one parent, back to where i was living, only to be kicked out after barely a month by my dad for some bs which seems to have mainly been a drunken fool looking for something to gripe at. Now im living at my best friend's house tryin to get my crap stright..... well i wind up being introduced to this 23 year old guy and things start up ya know, but im only 16 right now and total jailbait to him for another 2 months nearly!........ so between the fact its illegal (but isnt that just about anything that's fun though) and he is over 6 years older then me should i just tell him bye or keep on? Figure i would ask for some advice on this one...... I'm only 19, you can have me....

Originally posted by mayaneagle
I'm only 19, you can have me....

:p ............... well you'd sure be less trouble then the other ones age wise........... j/k

Originally posted by mayaneagle
I'm only 19, you can have me....

you might wanna take a few looks at pictures before you go declaring your love there, champ.

Originally posted by Wedge

well first sorry for all the bad stuff that happen in your life.. but just remember, you are young (i know your tired of hearing that, but it's true).. i am going to agree with some of the others on here and say "dude's trouble", and talking with you before, you seem to have a good idea of what you don't want to be.. i would advise not persueing anything with a 23 year old.. take it from me.. a 22-year old man (some might disagree and say boy), but if the dude really wants you.. he can wait.. i did, but that's a different thread etirely..

your a teenager, all teenagers fight with your parents, please try to put up with them, and see where they are coming from.. you don't see it now but it's what is best for you.. they actually want what is best for you.. (or atleast they should)

I have agree with Wedge. Although you can't see your parent's side of the arguement (and I'm not saying we parents are always right either), believe me when I say you're gonna look back and realize that your parents knew what they were talking about. I have a 13 yr old daughter and I find myself quoting my mother often. Hind sight's 20/20. You can never undo damage that's been done. If you and your parents still can't seem to see eye to eye - get someone who can mediate the issue on both sides.

As far as the 23 yr old goes - sweetie, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. If its true love, it can and should wait in your case. Experience life. Be a kid! I know you're 16 and want to take the world on - but, enjoy being a kid - once those years are gone, they're gone. Don't be in such a rush to grow up, get a job, pay bills and give the other 1/2 to Uncle Sam.:)

whoa............i never even breeched the word love........ i am nowheres to that point.......... i am being a kid, im having fun and experiencing life as i want to....... i am not trying to make anything serious of this guy, i'm mainly looking at him more physically and as friends then as soulmates ( yes mom insert freak out here cause i know u read this but i dont really care)....... i know im too young to jump into commitment like all that....... i want my fun and adventure, and well a little bit of pleasure never hurts either........ at my age dating around and stuff with various ages is normal to me and that's what im doing or working on, i am in no way looking for the person i want to spend the rest of my life with; hell i dont care when, or really if, that day ever comes i just want to be myself and live life by the day.........

why thank you, i am not use to this being right all the time.. :p

anyways, just going to point out, from what i do know (i know you know him better than i do, but) about durden, he does seem to care an awful lot.. i mean think how hard it was for him to get his back on here and to start posting again.. ;) :p but serious, you are lucky, as i and many others are, to have parents that care.. try not to be like every other 16 year old out there and date a guy 8 years older than you are just b/c your not suppose to.. i have been the guy before, and i won't ever do that again (and i was only 4 years older, so hush) i realize that that is just a phase every teenager goes threw.. more than likely you are not going to marry him (i think you know that), but if you do become close, you always remember