Was talking with someone about this, what would you do if this situation came up?

Say you have a thing for a guy/girl who lives far away and met online, and he/she is married, but separated, and when you "fell" for him/her, you didn't know he/she was married. You have never met this guy/girl previously, only corresponded online and via phone for over a year. Now say you get word from this person that they are coming to the state that you live in, and it's fairly close to where you live. Do you go meet him/her? Do you let whatever happens happen? Or do you go to meet, but with the idea that you will not sleep with them? Or forget about it completely, they are married, after all.

Well, there is no reason for them to let you know that they will be visiting nearby, unless they are also curious about you. A meet and greet wouldn't be out of the question, even if they are separated. After all, you are both adults, and don't have to act upon every impulse you might have. Do take a cautious attitude about it, there's no need to jump into the sack, that would only cause more complications for you both at this getting to know one another stage. You could become good friends, and if anything else took its course after they straightened out their primary relationship situation, you would never regret doing this. And if they eventually decide to go back to their S.O., at least you won't be wondering "what if" for the remainder of your life. I'd say yes, go see them, but keep your head on your shoulders about any "expectations". Have fun.

though call. married but seperated .... whats that mean.... are both parties living seperatly and dating other people and all? .... if so, I'd treat it like two single people.... toss the dice, see how they role. right? .... if they are "seperated" and still living maried like, i'd leave it alone .... friends only IMO. I do not know the legality of all that, I'd play it with integrity and keep my eyes open if i was really into the person. ..... sounds kinda fishy, ya know .... probably maried when you first started talking maybe .... maybe not mentioning that .... now "seperated" and moving near you ... I'd definitly have some concerns and address them straight-up. tough call, I don't know enough to offer much usable advice as far as that goes.

You find out someone you're into is married, what do you do?

Steal them from their spouse and wreck that house, duh

Yahweh is keeping an eye on this situation. Yahweh will be very upset if pleasure is experienced without guilty feelings.

So is it a case where this separation will lead to divorce?
Or is this one of those "break" separations?
If its the usual separation which is the precursor to a divorce then I dont see anything wrong with meeting the person. Just be careful and dont do anything you are going to regret.
As 92Notch said if its one of those complex "separations" then leave it alone.

REgret is part of life. Pussies fear regret!

if they're "separated" uhm.. they're still married. It's okay I think to have a meet and greet, but keep it PG.

Just assume that the person is batshit crazy and has more issues than you want to deal with, thank them for their time, and run like hell.

Was talking with someone about this, what would you do if this situation came up?

Say you have a thing for a guy/girl who lives far away and met online, and he/she is married, but separated, and when you "fell" for him/her, you didn't know he/she was married. You have never met this guy/girl previously, only corresponded online and via phone for over a year. Now say you get word from this person that they are coming to the state that you live in, and it's fairly close to where you live. Do you go meet him/her? Do you let whatever happens happen? Or do you go to meet, but with the idea that you will not sleep with them? Or forget about it completely, they are married, after all.


Walk away. So not worth it.

There's two types of 'seperated'

There's the seperated with the intent of trying to work things out-then there's the seperated but plan on staying married for financial reasons. I have a friend who's been dating a married man for about the past 6 months. She talks about how great he is and how into her he is. Don't dare let me say that if he was that into her, he would have left his wife via divorce for her. He tells her he's only staying married until his last one graduates high school...in two yrs. :rolleyes: Some people just don't use the brain God gave them.

Considering that you've never met this person IRL, meeting up with them should be done publicly, simply from a safety standpoint. Use caution if you proceed from there. Ask the questions you posted in this thread to the one person who can actually answer them for you. Then you have a clear idea of what the expectations are, and you can let this person know yours.

There's two types of 'seperated'

There's the seperated with the intent of trying to work things out-then there's the seperated but plan on staying married for financial reasons.
Good post, and here's my take on it:

If it's the first one, stay the **** away. There are few things worse than a homewrecker.

If it's the second one, that's iffy. You probably aren't getting the whole story, and you're safer avoiding it.

Don't go for it unless it's the third category, separated with divorce papers filed and making their way through the courts.

Tell your friend to start dating SINGLE people whom she's MET, instead of married people whom she hasn't. That'll probably work out better for her...

I saw Run, doesn't sound like a good situation to be in.

If you knowingly get involved with a separated person, you probably deserve the repercussions.

and he/she is married, but separated

Meet. Separated means they are probably free to date. If you aren't sure, ask them.

If you get involved with a married person, there's a pretty substantial chance that the other spouse will try to kill you.

Forgive me, but this seems like an awful lot of thought and effort going into someone who is 1/2 of a failed marriage already. Unless you live in a town of 12 people, I recommend you go out and meet people that are single and close enough that you can genuinely find out what they are about.

married. too much drama and complication. They should wait until the divorce is final before they start dating.

btw, my uncle just brought his chilla over on new year's day. He met her online like 10 years ago, and told my aunt it was over and etc, like 10 years ago, and last spring my aunt divorced my uncle.. and here he comes with this chick he "just met" and they are getting married in the spring.

Something the WAY things are done really matters. Things may be totally over in the marriage, but it's still grimey.

Good post, and here's my take on it:

If it's the first one, stay the **** away. There are few things worse than a homewrecker.
If it's the second one, that's iffy. You probably aren't getting the whole story, and you're safer avoiding it.

Don't go for it unless it's the third category, separated with divorce papers filed and making their way through the courts.

I can agree with the bolded statement.

Instead of yelling "tiiiiiimbeeeeeeerrrr! I'd be yelling "reeeeeebooouuuuuund!"

It sucks to be somebody's safety net.

But what do I know... All I know, if someone is just coming out of a long term relationship, they should be fairly confused (or hurt) which makes them... how do we call that again? Oh yah... EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE.

There ain't nothing wrong with satisfying your curiosity and meeting. What's wrong with that? As long as you don't expect "much".:|

Canadiense is right. It sounds like they're on the rebound. I've kind of been in that situation myself. It's always best to leave married people alone. I knew one girl who broke up and got back together with her husband every other month. It's sad to see that kind of juvenile behavior in a 30 year old. I don't even go after people who are already dating someone else . Single people are easy enough to find and those people who are dating rarely end up staying together. The tough part is the timing to find out if they're going to go back to the person they just broke up with before someone else takes the chance. But when it comes to the married folk wait for the divorce.