the only problem with dreams is knowing that i will have to awake.

.
.
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you know, i'm realizing a lot of things about myself. i become contemplative near my birthday, one of those "year in review" self indulgences that i take part in annually and it's nearly always bittersweet as i realize that another year has gone by where i've allowed myself no connection with anyone on any real basis.

this is almost always intentional.

i'm either a very selfish person or very superficial person, or quite possibly a very chickenlike person who never allows connections to take place in any real sense.

the reality of loneliness that takes place in dreams is one that is both tangible and saddening. it is most likely the only place that reality takes place so long as i only allow myself to be real while slumbering.

maybe you're afraid that if someone sees you for who you really are, they won't love you. that's my fear. :hmm:

actually, it's the perceived dangers of closeness.

actually, it's the perceived dangers of closeness.
proximity has its risks. :(

dreams > reality

maybe our dreams are real and reality is not.

does it brother you that you are this way, because you want to be more open for yourself? Or are you just worried that people will think you're selfish or superficial?

btw, you're not!

For me I find it easier to just be me and whatever comes, comes.


Now if you want to be more open for yourself, then you have to say "Marie? Today is the day I'm going to join the rest of the humans!"


<3
:|