i think i have given up on a lot of things...

I'm a pretty persistant girl in most situations.. I mean, even venture into the Big Debates and Politics Forums on DA (gasp)
but just with everything thats happened this year and whatnot, I've kinda lost a piece of myself. Like I've almost lost part of my core in a way-- where my passion for...everything is... or my energy.. yep, haven't had that in a while...

I haven't let myself give up like this in years. In fact, it was up a steep hill (in a good way) from the summer after 10th grade until my second semester of college. Then it's almost like there was a trade off.. like in exchange for the piece of myself that i got back from changing how i felt about a lot of things, and mostly some anger i had held on to for a few years, I lost some other things i had held on to... and now, here i am, trying to..i guess, "glue myself back together" i guess... am I making sense? i think that is why i havent been able to work on my novel in a few weeks... i've just pretty much felt like a mess and not even able to formulate ideas in an efficient way... hopefully i am coming out of that- i got through another page tonight...

I hear you there sweetie ... I used to think I was the strongest woman I knew, I could get over any obstacle in my way ... I am a fighter, there is nothing I can't overcome and nothing I can't do ... not any more ... but strength is hiding ... my drive gone ... my hope disapearing. I used to know that I was going to be a famous singer ... now I know that is just a phony dream and I should just find something else to do ... I am in a rut along with you my dear and I can't seem to get out of it.:( Wish I could give you more encouraging words... but I can not ... all I can do here is let you know you are not alone ... and like always if you need me JptrPrinces is my AIM ... Neptune8265@yahoo.com if you need me too!