Been a while since I have started a thread in here but here it goes ...

April 14th the party ... This is where I see Chris after about 3 years of not seeing him. We meet, have sex and exchange phone numbers.

We then see eachother almost daily since sometimes have sexual contact sometimes not. We have gone camping twice, gone to Vegas twice and just plain old have a good time together. I know all of his friends and he knows many of mine. Well my friends dont like him too much (he's not good enough for me) and his friends like me and I like them just fine so all is well there! Now on Monday 10th we decide to officially become a couple. Now this is where I am thinking the mistake came in by me! We had discussed it about 3 weeks prior and decided to take some time to think about it and I had not brought it up again until that night. We decided to be a couple I had what I thought I wanted, I should be happy right? Well Tuesday night I did not call him b/c I knew he did not get off work until 9:30 so I decided to let him have his sleep and relax. Wed night I kinda expected a phone call from him but was not fully dissapointed when he did not call b/c he had to work that afternoon too! I knew that he HAD Friday off so I called him Thursday night ... could not get a hold of him for the life of me:mad: This is when I begin to get upset, so I call him Friday night and when I finally get ahold of him he said that he had been tired and he ended up having to work Friday afternoon and that he was going to Ben's (his best friend's). Well I live an hour away from everyone and when I have to go out there I enjoy being able to see him and everyone else ... so I ask if it would be possible that I hang with them... he (knowing this) says "sure." So I get there and we did not talk, sit next to eachother etc. If I wanted to talk to him I had to approach him and even then he did not really seem like talking to me. He was in the garage ... so I went in and sat down asked him what was up and I got "same old **** diff. day" Tito came in ... then closed the garage door as he immediately left! I told him that I was going for a walk and left. Now ValVerde is not the best area for a girl to be walking in alone at 12:00am, so I half expected him to come along seeing that I wanted to talk to him, but NO he just went inside the house with everyone else. So I then began talking with everyone else that was there and did not pay attention to him since he did not seem like he wanted to be anywhere near me! Then I ask if I am driving him home since he does not have a car and Tito took him (Tito is now experiencing what happens when you have too much to drink and DelTaco and bad weed). So I take him home and we begin ranting about **** in the car and having a ***** fest about our week! When we are finally done, I ASK him b/4 he gets out of my car for a kiss! He THINKS about it and says OK! WTF is up with that! Part of me wants to break up with him and part of me wants to stick it out thinking he is just having a hard time b/c it is 5 days until the one year marker for his grandma's death ... anyone have any suggestions?

sometimes boys just get distracted with stuff. Sometimes boys are just tired. Sometimes boys dont realize how their actions really affect other people.
(i used to get the stuff you described from my bf.... and i would get all huffy about it, when in truth it didnt actually mean much. It hardly ever happens now, i think that is cuz he is more aware of how his actions affect others.) <--but he learned that cuz i let him know how i felt.

he still thinks about if he wants to kiss me... usually is answer is. "well, not really...." =) but since i know he is just teasing, it makes me want to kiss him in a way that makes him REALLY want to kiss me.

I think what is scaring me is that he is thinking about moving to Chicago with his brother (who is already there) and when we kissed there was still a spark but not much of one... and when I called him tonight... he wanted to get off the phone quickly and didn't even ask me if I wanted to come down to see him.

Maybe he just needed to spend a couple of days away from you, nothing wrong with you, but guys do that. They pull away, and then they snap back, like a rubber band. He might have not wanted you at the party because maybe he just wanted to kick it with the guys. Try not to take it personally if that's all it was. Definately find out what the deal was, if he said he just needed some alone time, don't hold it against him, and don't think he needed it because he doesn't like you, he needed it because he's male.

Then maybe call him back and say "Look, lets be real with it, what the hell is going on?"

I did ... I got the answering machine ... :( I think he knew that it was going to be me and did not want to pick it up ... I am really hurting right now ... I am trying not to let it hurt me, but it is ... and part of the thing is that there is someone showing interest in persuing me and I would not mind being with this person (but I don't know them too well just yet) and I am torn at this moment not know what is going on and I DONT want this other person to effect my decision so I have not had much if any contact with this other person. But I am just so confused and a large amount of me thinks that he could be the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with ... but I just don't know what to think or do anymore and he just doesn't seem to be talking or wanting to talk to me these days.:(

just relax, guys work on a different time table than girls do.
i would suggest you just deal til tomorrow, and see if your mood has alleviated any, and be patient til at least tomorrow...

guys and their timetable, they wont deal with stuff until they are ready to, and a girl trying to get to the bottom of it, whatever it is... just ends up looking like a nag.
(Jenn whispers, i am almost a nag, that's why i say this.)


-a spark in a fight kiss? :rolleyes: the mood is covering up that kind of kiss so much, that it's barely a real kiss.

i think you might be overanalyzing somewhat. [and i happen to be an EXPERT on that.]

I am trying not to be a nag or seem like a nag. Thanks guys ... I am just worried about the whole thing ... mostly about being hurt again ... the last go around that I had like this I got screwed and he knows this and that person (hates him) ... but I just am afraid of being hurt again and I know he can do it even if he doesn't want to!

PP - just relax a little.....I think you should let everything take its course for the moment...by pushing him you will drive him away.

Just give him a couple of days and then get together alone for coffee or something and just be with each other.

As for the kiss...everyone has "down time" in relationships where it goes a little stale or whatever...it will come back to life....sheesh a few months ago i was lamenting to my mates about not getting any and now Im CONSTANTLY getting some :)

Sometimes life is too stressful to be in relationship and you need to take a breather.

Yeah, I guess you guys are right... and I think I prolly would have given the same advice if it were someone else's post ... I guess I just need to hear it from someone else sometimes.

I think it's time for a wake up call.

1. It took him a very long time to commit to being a couple.
2. He didn't call you.
3. You couldn't get a hold of him when you called.
4. He would rather hang at his friend's house than with you.
5. He is nonchallant about seeing you, even after a week or more.
6. He doesn't talk to you at the get together.
7. He d8idn't care in the least that you ignored him at the party.
8. He let you walk alone in a bad neighborhood late at night.
9. He didn't want a ride home from you.
10. He had to think twice about being kissed.
11. He wanted to get off the phone quickly when you finally did get a hold of him.
12. He makes no attempt what-so-ever to see you or call you...ever.

I don't think he likes you. I think he's afraid to tell you for one of two reasons.
1. He doesn't want to hurt you.
2. He likes to be able to call you for an occasional shot of ass.

I think it's reason #1. His grandma dying has nothing to do with it. Neither does his moving to Chicago. I think he's simply lost interest. Sure guys need space, but not for weeks on end.

You can take it for what it's worth, but I'm the only guy who responded to this thread. I was him at more than one point in life. These are the tactics that men use when they don't like hurting feelings. It's just my two cents, but I'm most likely correct. :(

Originally posted by Ponycar_302
I think it's time for a wake up call.

1. It took him a very long time to commit to being a couple.
2. He didn't call you.
3. You couldn't get a hold of him when you called.
4. He would rather hang at his friend's house than with you.
5. He is nonchallant about seeing you, even after a week or more.
6. He doesn't talk to you at the get together.
7. He d8idn't care in the least that you ignored him at the party.
8. He let you walk alone in a bad neighborhood late at night.
9. He didn't want a ride home from you.
10. He had to think twice about being kissed.
11. He wanted to get off the phone quickly when you finally did get a hold of him.
12. He makes no attempt what-so-ever to see you or call you...ever.

I don't think he likes you. I think he's afraid to tell you for one of two reasons.
1. He doesn't want to hurt you.
2. He likes to be able to call you for an occasional shot of ass.

I think it's reason #1. His grandma dying has nothing to do with it. Neither does his moving to Chicago. I think he's simply lost interest. Sure guys need space, but not for weeks on end.

You can take it for what it's worth, but I'm the only guy who responded to this thread. I was him at more than one point in life. These are the tactics that men use when they don't like hurting feelings. It's just my two cents, but I'm most likely correct. :( :stupid:

Yeah, well after tonight's phone conversation where he let me know that due to his work schedule we won't be seeing eachother until July... that kinda pissed me off ... I am going to just give it until then and then see what is up I guess... I mean no sense in dumping him over the phone right? So I will prolly end up ending the "relationship" begining of July ... give him some time to think about it or let him do it first either way... I would honestly feel better if he broke up with me rather than I break up with him ... if we are all reading things wrong and he just really has had such a crazy work schedule for the remainder of the month and I am just being a stupid girl I would hate to **** up what used to be and could again be a good thing. But who knows there is someone else I am kinda interested in... so we will see we will see.

After you have helped me realize alot in the past (Thankyou) I will offer a little help. Stick with it, but unfortunelatly prepare for the worst. Be strong (as you can be) and all will be well.

Brad